The Groom of Fowlerstein
by regertz
Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.
1. Chapter 1

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Prologue...

An evening in 2013 Pasadena...Darkness...A high-rise apartment window appearing out of the mists...Well isolated from intruding eyes...And perfectly chosen to catch ventilation at the best angles.

A heavy rainstorm, accompanied by severe gusts of wind, punctuated by blasts of thunder and lightning tears the fabric of night...

But the glow of a warm and cheery large high-definition television screen is spied through the large window...We hear a strain of harp music playing as we close up to that window...And see, scattered in chairs about the living room...The world-renowned physicist Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, the less renowned but deserving of mention as the said Dr. Cooper's significant other, neurobiologist Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, and diligently working at video game...The still less renowned Drs. Leonard Hofstadter and Dr. Rajesh Koothrapali ...And doing needlework on a bit of lace, a craftsy present designed to appeal to her mother-in-law, Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski…Along with several others hardly worthy of mention.

All in the rather casual clothes of the era...

Sheldon strides to the window, looking out at the storm...

"What a marvelous night!..." he exults... "Mother Nature at her worst...While we seven...We elegant four and three others safe within..."

"I should like to think that an irate Jehovah was aiming those thunderbolts directly at me...At the unbowed head of Sheldon Lee Cooper..." Sheldon continues grandiosely...Peering out into the fierce storm...

Uhhh…

"But not wanting to take any chances…Amy, you tell the storm you're the one calling for thunderbolts on your unbowed head."

The aforementioned Dr. Hofstadter rolls his eyes, grinning at one of the female "others"...

"But...I mustn't be too quick...Perhaps these represent an accolade for our dear Leonard...Heaven's applause to try and soothe the whimpering of our experimental physicist..."

"Hey...?"

"Well…You were kinda carrying on there about Bernie's horror story, Leonard…" Howard Wolowitz, one of the males among those not requiring notice, notes.

"Howie…" the aforementioned Bernadette, Dr. Bernadette Rosenkowski, reproving. "I was kinda flattered that Leonard was creeped out a little by my story. It's a compliment for a Halloween tale."

"Thanks…But I wasn't that 'creeped'…" Leonard insists.

"Come on, dude…" Dr. Koothrapali notes. "You were jumping out of your skin."

"Now, Rajesh…" Dr. Fowler, Amy of first name… "We were all a bit frightened…Bernadette made rather well with the ghoulish details…"

"Thanks, Amy…Though kudos to you for the anatomy details…" Bernadette beams.

"Yeah…" frown from yet another member of our merry band assembled in the apartment belonging to myself, your prologue narrator, the world-renowned as mentioned Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, and Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, of little or no renown, one Penny, an "actress" by claim and waitress by need to survive, girlfriend for the moment to the said Hofstadter of whimpering note. "Just a little too good detail…On my anatomy…Amy? How did you know I had a mole just under my shoulder blade?"

"I was wondering about that myself…" Leonard notes.

"Hardly difficult to spot when you're wearing your usual lower-than-low cut blouse or dress." Dr. Cooper notes astutely, as I so often do in life.

"You've seen her mole?" Amy cuts in… "When did you see her mole?"

"Yeah, when did you see it? And more important, did you take pictures?" Bernadette asks.

All staring… "It was for Howard…He can't ask questions like that anymore and I just figured after the song he wrote me for our date anniversary I owed him one." She beams.

"Please…People…I was performing one of my routine life-saving missions…I had to dress Penny after she dislocated her shoulder…It was there, I was there…I noted it…It was filed in my eidetic memory base…End of story, grow up." Dr. Cooper, frowning at the sad but typical lack of maturity among his hangers-on.

"Ok, getting back to the point…" Penny sighs. "Amy, where did you get all that stuff about my…Body stuff…?"

"Penny, I'm a trained anatomist as well as a neurobiologist…I get the form down with a few regular viewing…"

"Like…Viewings when?" Penny stares. "Oh, God, you haven't been coming into my apartment at night like…Ummn…Certain people."

Relieved beam from Leonard…

"Like Leonard didn't rave on about being in Penny's apartment to us…" Howard notes quietly to Bernadette.

"And Sheldon about the filthy state of the place…" Raj adds.

"No, I didn't…Honestly…Penny." Amy stares. "I wouldn't violate your privacy like that…It would scare the willies out of Sheldon if he ever heard."

"Indeed…" Sheldon notes… As indeed I would…

"Please…I just imagined what your anatomy would be like and had Leonard fill me in on a few things…Oh…I don't think I was supposed to…" Amy eyes the frantic Leonard who was now waving frantically.

"You told Amy things about my anatomy?" Penny stares at Leonard.

"Some amazing things…" Amy notes. "We couldn't use half the details in Bernadette's story."

"Hey…" Penny, forelornly…Then furious glare at Leonard…

And as for you…

He squirms back in his seat…

He always did at female intimidation…His mother once told me he use to shake so hard at her stare that a colleague once insisted he was having convulsions.

"But wasn't my Bernie terrific her first time out as our spookmeister?" Howard, cutting in to spare Leonard more suffering…

"She is an angel…" Raj, sighing…

"You think so?" Bernadette, looking up from her work, sly smile. "I'd say I disproved that."

My, Leonard was looking very much like he building to a convulsion…I have to take back my dismissal of his childhood condition. Seems Amy's grandmother, Leonard's mother's former advisor, the one who called in social services on Beverly, may have been right about his mother's potentially abusive experimental methods. Who knew…?

But after all…Meemaws always know best…

"Lets say then…An angelically gifted storyteller…" Howard, with flourish…

"That she was…" Penny nods… "Though I coulda wished not to be the bright star of that tale…"

"You weren't…" Amy notes. "I was. You were just the bestie I resurrected from the dead with spare body parts. The story was about me…The mad doctor lady who defies Heaven to save her friend…"

"Oh…Amy…" Penny gives warm if patronizing smile… "If you need to think so…Sure…Right, Bernadette?"

"Actually the story did focus on Amy…" Bernadette, perturbed. "Though it was really an allegory of the dangers of science without morality…and maybe a little chance to give a woman a major role in a sci-fi tale that wasn't girlfriend to the hero or victim of the villain…"

"Oh, please…" Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, Rajesh, Amy…In unison…

"This from the microbiologist who crossed Ebola with the common cold to see if she could…" Leonard notes.

"Hey, cryboy…I was defending you before…" Bernadette glares.

"But I was glad of the major role for a woman thing…" Amy notes. "Thank you for the chance to show my other talents…"

"You mean…Two major roles, right…?" Penny, a bit downcast…

"Of course…And you were a terrific monster, bestie."

"I know I had chills just looking at you while hearing Bernadette describe your resurrected appearance…" Raj notes.

"Rajesh, no offense…But you'd have chills just looking at any woman." Penny frowns. "But thanks…I guess."

"Come, Bernadette...Come and watch the storm..." Howard moves to her... "It's really just like that storm you described in the story."

"Not that any of us accept the idea that either lightening or cosmic rays channeled into a mass of sewn together body parts could reanimate them." Dr. Cooper carefully winning one for Scientific Reason…

"You seemed to buy it pretty well while Bernadette was telling her tale." Howard notes… "Bernie, look there…" he points to a new bolt flash, streaking the California night sky…

"You know how lightning alarms me..." she notes...Looking to Leonard.

"Leonard...? Could you turn on all the lights...All of them?..."

He rises...And begins turning on lighting...

"Look at her, guy...Such an enchanting creature...Fearful of the lightning...Afraid of the dark..."

"Typical Catholic girl…" Bernadette shrugs. "We're taught to fear everything…"

Howard smiles at her...

"And yet…Bernie, you have written a story that caused my blood to run even colder than usual...he notes, smiling at her.

"Well..." Bernadette grins... "What do you expect...? With such company, it takes more than a pretty little love story..."

"Ah...But such a story...The story of Amy Farrah Fowlerstein who sought to create living men, to restore her own best friend...From the rifled graves of cadavers..." Howard chuckles, shaking head...

"Stan Lee himself couldn't have come up with one this guaranteed to blow our minds. Is it ok if I mention…?" he eyes her.

She frowning… "Ok…But guys, this was not my idea…"

"Right…Well…I've actually taken it around to a few guys…Murray, the latest publisher I took it to, refuses to touch it...He says it's great. But the reading public would be too shocked." Howard, sighing…

"Well, that's too bad but great that they like it." Leonard notes.

"We'll see it published, I think, one day." Bernadette smiles...

Just look on a bookstore shelf, she thinks...Inwardly sighing.

Well, if some guy can do "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies", I can mess a little with Mary Shelley.

"Of course I only wrote it for us…And to remind us all of the need for morality in our work."

"Well...Whatever your purpose in writing it...I adored every hideous moment..." Leonard beams...

"Absolutely…" Rajesh, Howard, Sheldon…

"Don't guys...Don't remind me of it tonight..." Bernadette nervously eyes the group...

"I savor each horror..." Sheldon sneers... "I roll them on my tongue..."

"When he's not hiding under his bed…" Leonard grins. "Sheldon, you wouldn't have the nerve to 'savor' the horror of a three year old in a monster mask…Don't hand us this."

"Excuse me?…I have an eidetic memory? The graveyard where Amy and her unholy lover and assistant Stuart waited..."

"Dramatic license…" Amy notes, a bit nervous.

"Yeah…And 'unholy'? Must we always describe me in negative terms, even in fiction?" Stuart speaks up… Stuart Bloom…Another of those not really requiring mention except that he does play a role in Bernadette's tale as Amy's lab gofer and other things I prefer not to discuss.

"Just dramatic license, Sheldon…" Amy, anxiously.

"Honey…Just enjoy at last getting some if only in fiction…This is your bestie and creation talkin'." Penny, grinning.

"Just stoking the jealousy flames a bit…" she notes quietly to Leonard's glance. "Can't hurt the good ship Shamy to have Sheldon a bit hot under the collar about Stuart again."

"To continue…The sobbing women...The first clods of earth on the coffin...

That was a pretty chill..."

"Yes, it took me an hour to get you out from under the bed…Sheldon, if you have nightmares again…I am not sitting up with you all night." Leonard, frowing.

"I volunteer!" Amy eagerly. "Please go on Sheldon, I know I want to hear this…" high-minded tone. Wink at Penny.

"Right…Amy and her unholy lover cutting the hanged woman down from where she hung, creaking in the wind..."

"The cunning of Fowlerstein..." Sheldon grins... "In her hilltop laboratory, picking together dead people to create a human monster...So fearful that only a half-crazed...And really desperate friend...Could conceive of it..."

Uh…

"Sheldon? What did I say?" Leonard frowns.

"I'm not scared…Just let me finish…" So as I'll feel like the story's over safely and the monster is safely burned alive.

"And then...The near-murders..."

"Actually…" Leonard begins…

"Tell him they really were murders and you are spending the night sitting up with him…Alone…" Penny notes.

Certainly my favorite part, Howard chimes in...

"A little girl...Almost drowned..." Ummn… "Actually that was kinda scary. I think I need to forget that scene. What did happen to her?"

"She just…Ummn…" Bernadette eyed Amy… Who mouthed words…

"It was a…Police case…"

No…I said briefcase you idiot, Amy frowning…She floated away on a briefcase like I suggested?

"I sure wasn't gonna say she floated off on some briefcase…" Bernadette notes to Howard.

"Amy Fowlerstein herself thrown from the tower by the very monster she'd resurrected..."

"And..." Raj takes Bernadette's hands... "It was these little hands that penned the horror..."

"Oh...You've made me prick myself, Rajesh!..." Bernadette gasps...

It's bleeding...she turns to Howard... Who hurries over, glaring at Raj.

Oh…My…Sheldon, naturally overwhelmed by the pressures of social contact…And the sight of blood.

"Sheldon…!" Amy grabs him as he faints.

"I do think, Bernadette..." Howard dabs at the bleeding finger with a napkin... "It's a shame you didn't continue the story..."

"Well...That wasn't the end of the story...Would you like to hear what happened after that?..." Bernadette asks...

"I'm all ears!..." Leonard comes over eagerly...

"Yes…" Sheldon, now recovered from his understandable collapse…"While Heaven blasts the night away, open up your pits of Hell..."

Just not too wide…

They all resume their seats...

"Well..." Bernadette begins...

"Imagine yourself by the old mill tower...The crowd still howling for the monster's blood...The fire is slowly burning down...Soon the gaunt rafters of the old mill will be left alone, blackened against the sky..."


	2. Chapter 2

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffyy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part I...

The fire in the old mill continues to burn...Bystanders cheer as parts crumble down into the stream below...A group of local townies and Castle Fowlerstein family servants clustered about the dead?...Dr. Amy Farrah Fowlerstein, scientist and heir to the Fowlerstein fortune, where she lies, thrown by her embittered creation in their final battle.

"Hey...What are you cryin' for?." Dr. Fowlerstein's faithful if outspoken lady's maid Bernadette nudges her husband, the Fowlerstein chauffeur and senior footperson, Howard Wolowitz...Who weeps openly watching the burning mill…

"It's horrible...Horrible..." Howard shakes his head.

My poor Penny...

"I know it's horrible..."Bernadette pats him, but turns grim.

"But after she drowned that little girl, nearly strangled and blinded her own beloved Dr. Hofstadter when he tried to kill the hideous thing Amy had made her, almost killed us...And what with poor Amy about to be taken home to die…"

It can't be our Penny in there...she shakes her head.

"I'm glad to see this thing...Her evil side no doubt...Roasted to death."

"It was evil, Howard…Believe me in my line of service as well as my grad school work with budding mad microbiologists I've become able to tell an evil nature."

"Now kiss me and go get the car...I'll see to poor Dr. Amy." she kisses and hugs him.

He wanders off to the car, forlornly…

"Ah..."Bernadette sighs...Parting the group about Amy.

"Poor Amy...She was to be married in tomorrow...To that poor Stuart..."

(Stuart, weeping… "Sorry it's just…The one time I get a break." Bernadette guiltily patting him.

"Sheldon?" Amy stared as he glared…

"You tole me the little girl just floated away on a briefcase…" he noted. "And that Leonard 'nearly' was blinded.")

The group eye each other...Junior footmen Rajesh and Kripke among them...

"Damn, Rwajesh…" Kripke notes. "Looks like there'll be no more lucrwative trwade in stwolen body parwts for us, now the good if mad doctwor is kaput."

"Will you keep it down, Barry?" Raj, anxiously. "They arrest grave robbers. And no one here in this lynch mob is likely to respect our excuse that it was all in the Cause of Science."

"All in the cwause of my wallet, perwsonally." Kripke notes. "But, yourw rwight. Still, therwe is another…"

"Anotherw…I mean another? Another who?"

"The nutcase I told you about…Lwoonier than our forwmer employwer."

"C'mon...Geesh..." Bernadette stares at the crowd hesitantly regarding the body of their former leading citizen, third-largest local employer...

Mad defiler of the dead…

"Unclean…" one fellow hisses… "She created that thing, I hear."

"Uh…Nonsense…" Bernadette, rising to the defense of her employer and friend… "She was just doing her bit to help defend the community. Who says she had anything to do with this lady thing going mad."

"Everyone knows that thing came from her place…" another pointed out…The crowd looking a bit on the edge of again becoming blindly enraged. Some angrily shaking fists at Amy's prone form.

"An old friend, yes… Heck, some of you knew her when she worked in town as a waitress and an actress. But…Uh…She had drug problems…You know what it's like for struggling actors. Amy was letting her stay at a cottage and the poor thing just went totally downhill."

"She was seven feet tall! And looked like something out of a horror film!" shout…

"Eight feet, I heard!" another…

"Come on…" Bernadette eyed the group… "You see the rumors flying?! Lets not lose our heads…And kill the Fowlerstein goose that's kept so many of us employed during the recession?"

Point taken…The crowd collectively notes. Calming…

"Now we all know how sweet and kind Dr. Amy is? Who could believe she'd unleash something hideous upon us, except by a kindly misjudgment of the condition of a tragically changed friend? Haven't most of us watched 'Breaking Bad'?"

"She's good…" Kripke notes to Raj who sighs, nodding…

"Ah…" Kripke smirks as Raj looks pained, watching Bernadette winning over the crowd to grief for their leading citizen… "Still got the hwots for Ms. Berwnie, I see. You know, Rwaj…Accidents can happen to people in this twown. I've arrwanged a few."

"Kripke…" Raj shakes head. "Don't even think about it. If anything happens to Howard I'll turn you in myself, even if I must go to the gallows with you…And even if I didn't know you'd murdered that last organ donor."

"Murwder is such a harwsh word…Say involunarwy dwonor…"

"All our donors are involuntary, Barry."

"Well, he was a bit more than some. Hey, just trwying to help you out hwere."

Howard returns...Got the car, he notes to Bernadette. "Though I wonder if we can really fit her in there easily." He eyes the prone Amy.

We gotta a van...Raj notes...Eyeing Kripke...

"We'll bring her home to the Fowlerstein estate." he offers...

Ok...Bernadette turns to Howard...

"You better drive to Castle Fowlerstein...And tell Baroness Fowlerstein and poor Stuart we're bringing..." she pauses sadly...Eyeing the dead?...Wish we had a doctor here...Amy...

"...Amy home..."

("Stuart…Please stop crying…" Bernadette, sighing… "She's actually not dead."

"Really?" he blinks.

"What do you mean, I should prepare myself a little?" Sheldon eyes Amy… "Why? What's going to happen?" She leans to whisper…

"You're going to marry Who?!" shriek…Furious glare at Stuart…

Oh, I don't know about you guys but I am lovin' this one…Amy hisses to Penny.)

The old mill, shrouded in darkness...now abandoned by all but two...Determined to see the last of the Creature...

At least...One is...

"Toby...?" the female addresses him.

"Why do you stay...? The Monster must be burned up by now...And burned up or no...Nothing will bring our little Maria back to us?"

"Why do you stay here...?" she shakes him.

"I want to see..." Toby grumbles.

"If I can see her blackened bones with my own eyes...I can sleep at night."

He shakes his mate off and begins climbing into the rubble of the mill.

"Hans...!" the woman cries... "You will be burned yourself...Come back..."

He falls through the charred remains of the floor to the cellar and stream below...

Hans!...the female collapses in a faint...

In the cellar of the mill...The former location of the mill's water wheel...Hans struggles to find something to grab onto...But...from a darkened corner...

A hideously deformed and scarred...Now badly burned as well...And extremely pissed...though still blonde...And one benefit of Amy's work, rather tall...Penny is seen emerging slowly...

With a loud growl...Meant actually to be her trademark "What's the word, nerd?..." but the best she can currently manage given the lightening-induced damage to her brain.

Thanks, Amy...

She rushes over to the now terrified Toby…One of those bastards firing up the mill...Knocking pistol from his hand as he tries to draw…Click from water-logged gun…And thrusts his head under the water...

He cries out, struggling to no avail...

("Ok, Toby…Great…" Penny notes to the groaning Toby, who'd been invited at Bernadette's request to Howard for help with the reading, he being a university research tech with some hankering for an acting career.)

Toby continues to struggle...

("Terrific performance…Now…Die already…" Penny glares.

Uh…)

So much for poor Toby...She climbs to beams and the remains of an old stairway...Slowly moving to the surface...

God...Look at dress...she thinks, looking at her torn and burned dress...And was bad choice by Amy to begin with...

Grrr...Re-Life suck...she thinks...

"Toby...?" the woman, now revived...Calls...

"I hear you, Toby...Let me help you..."

Penny puts up a burned hand...The female lifts her out, not realizing...

Until too late...

("Oh, tell me when this is over!" Sheldon burying head in Amy's lap.,,

"Our mad scientist's even madder partner…" Leonard eyes Penny, who shrugs.

"Just saying…I coulda played a mad scientist…I'd be good…I've years of pent up rage ready to break out…"

Note my willingness to accept derogatory commentary in the interests of literary truth, reader…However Sheldon Cooper forgets nothing. I can't, eidetic memory.

God, is this night working out for me…Amy beams, stroking Sheldon's head…I think Halloween is now my favorite holiday.)

And Penny is in no mood to make allowances for the female's help as the lady lets out an annoying scream...And whacks at her with a charred piece of the mill's wooden frame.

Like all others she's encountered since Amy resurrected her...For crying out loud, what gives with these people? OW!...Hey!...She dodges a hard blow.

Enraged, she tosses the female down the old mill stairs...And heads off...

All have left...

Except Bernadette who found she must walk...No more room in Raj's van he had apologetically noted...She lags behind the tail end of the group making for Castle Fowlerstein...And pauses to look back...Hearing...

Penny lumbers over...Scarred, burned...Greenish skinned...Tall...Very tall...Penny looks at her old friend a mo...Rather exhausted after this long day...

Bernadette's jaw drops...Pe...Pe..Pen…

"AHHHHH!" she runs off, racing after the others...

Penny stares after her...

Was Bernadette?...she thinks...

"Bye-bye..." she waves...A little downcast...And still rather pissed, now that she thinks about it...

Where go now?...she wonders...Looking around at the woods around the crumbled old mill...

No go home...Hurt people before...Remember...she remembers...

Just playing but...Caught kid by stream... Didn't mean to hurt...Thought she'd float like flowers...

Only one day old then...

And Amy...she frowns...

Bad...Lock her in cellar...No see friends...

Leave Kripke watching her...Bastard...Wave fire at her...Hit her with whip...

Even Leonard want hurt her...Woke up on table...Leonard? Yes…Leonard about to...

Cut her up...?!

"Painlessly dissecting subject...This is for you, my sweet Penny…" she remembers him speaking into his pocket recorder.

Painlessly?...Geesh...

Well...Don't think he dead after she grab by throat...

But they all mad at her after...Geesh...

Chase her...Shoot her...Hit her...Run away from her...

And me...Good ole luvable Penny...she notes...I think, anyway...Remembering hard.

Oh...she sobs...

No ask for this...Geesh...

Amy...Very bad...

She wanders off into the woods...

…..

The rather nice castle of the Fowlerstein estate...Massive with the usual ramparts and turrets, an import from Europe…Amy's stricken mother, the Baroness lying near death, the servants attempting to keep the shock of recent events from her…Amy's fiancé Stuart watches the road from a large bay window in a room of the one of the towers...

Howard's car pulls up...And they can see a procession of local Pasadeners following Raj and Kripke's van at a distance up the road...

"Howard...?" Stuart calls to him from the open window as he emerges from his car...

He waves a bit...

Ummn...

"Amy…Penny...How'd things go…My search team didn't find any trace?" Stuart calls...

Ummn...Well...Howard calls back...

"Things didn't go so well between Amy and the mon...er Penny..." he notes...

See...They wound up at that old sawmill, the museum site? And had a little...Fight...And...

The van pulls up...Raj, Kripke, and several others lift Amy's body out...Carrying it to the castle door on a stretcher...

"Oh, Heaven...What is this?..." Stuart cries...Turning and running from the room, downstairs to the great hall of the castle where Amy's body is being brought in...Weeping servants and townspeople following...

He rushes to Amy, lying prone on a large table...

Howard silently embraces him... "Sorry, old pal…"

(Sheldon…Fuming…Oh, and was I…

"Sheldon, you should be getting ready for your big entrance…" Amy urges.

"When you steal me from Stuart…?" she notes, sidelong glance. "By the power of your intellect, the lure of your mad dream, and of course your incredible and undeniable physical attractiveness."

"You're right." Considered nod. "Prepare to be dazzled…" As you should be.)

Bernadette comes running from the road to the front door...

"AHHH!" she yelps still...

"What the hwell's with you...?" Kripke beside Raj at the door eyes her...

"The monster...Penny...She's alive...She wasn't burned up at all...She lived right through the fire...Ohhh..." Bernadette trembles...

"You still want this lwoon...?" Kripke hisses to Raj...

Yeah...he nods... "But no murders, Barry."

Eh...Dames…They're all crwazy...Kripke notes...

"Hey wacko...We don't bwelieve in ghosts herwe..." he sneers at Bernadette...

Yeah, right...Raj thinks...Just...Comic book superheroes, mad scientists, resurrected people…and Monsters,...

Come on Raj...Kripke calls...They leave her...

"Nobody'll believe me?...All right...I wash my hands of it...Let them all be murdered in their beds...For all of me." Bernadette shakes her head...

HOWARD!...she cries...Hearing another noise and running in…

By the table on which Amy rests, the others mournfully stand by...

"Amy...?" Stuart calls to her... "Speak to me?"

"Oh...Stuart..." Bernadette sighs, shaking her head... "She'll never speak again."

Stuart looks at her...

And turns back to Amy...Sighing...

"I was foretold of this...I was told...Beware my wedding night."

Wouldn't that be tomorrow night...? Bernadette hisses to Howard.

Heck everwybody gets that advice...Man of the world Kripke hisses to his friend Raj...

My wife Lwesley was told to rwun like Hwell from our wedding bed...he notes...

"And I still can't figure how you managed to land Lwesley…Er, Lesley Winkle." Raj shook his head.

"My incrwedible swexual prwowess…And…Drwugs, of courwse…" Kripke shrugged. "Everwy time she gets to arwuging or exprwessing hwer opinions, I just slwip hwer another mickey."

"I was wondering why she wasn't showing up for her classes at the University."

"Forwtunately, she can still do piecework at hwome. So she's still puttin' in hwer owar for the family bwudget. But I may need to trwade up soon…She's stwarting to devwelop rwesistance."

Say...? Stuart eyes Bernadette...

"You have had a doctor to see her?..." He eyes Howard as well...

Ummn...Well...Things were kinda busy back at the burning mill...Howard notes...

"Fetch a doctor..." Stuart calls to a servant...

(You know, kinda nice to have servants at the ole beck and call...He notes to Amy... No chance your family really does have that kind of...? "Actually...Before my dad ran off and spent it all..." Amy eyes him.)

As they back away to await the doctor, Bernadette is left by Amy...And suddenly sees her hand drop...

"Oh...My lady Amy!...Stuart!..." Bernadette cries...

"Look! She's alive...Alive!"

Hmmn...That's just the way Amy said it when Penny came back to life in that horror of a body...Stuart notes to herself...Rushing over...

"Stuart..." Amy gasps...Touching his face gently.

"Amy...Oh, Amy..." Stuart sobs... ("OW! Sheldon!" he jumps at the sudden chop.

"Sheldon!" Penny glares...

Forgive the descent into my animalistic side...But Love, like Science, has her little surprises...)

You know...Fowlerstein is kinda the cwause of all this...Kripke notes quietly to Raj...

"Well you and your "low cost" organs for transplant didn't help much..." Raj hisses back.

God, taking them out of the folks you were supposed to be burying...he shakes his head.

"Hey...I'm just a swupplier..." Kripke replies... "Amy wanted anything I could get hwer...And I gave no guarwantees the pwarts would work for something like this."

Lucky poor Penny didn't wind up with a case of HIV on top of everything else...Raj harshly whispers back.

Hey...Everything Amy got from me worked...Right?...Kripke notes.

Well..Raj reluctantly has to concede the point...

Not my fault if crazy Fowlerstein's surgical technique is lousy...Kripke concludes.


	3. Chapter 3

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part III...

Next morning...

A crowd surrounds the Castle Fowlerstein as rumors of sightings of the Creature spread...In an understandably angry mood...

Police holding them back...

Inside, Amy grumbles to her companions…Stuart, Howard and his dear Bernadette...

"Why are they so hot and bothered over Penny now?...She didn't kill anyone...Just smashed up a few houses, trashed a few stores, and scared some folks..."

Well..ok...Amy eyes Howard...Penny was a little crazed when she saw what she looks like now...And she did seem a little...Lacking in self-control since the resurrection.

And she did try to hurt you and me…And nearly killed Leonard...Bernadette notes.

And everyone else she's met since she escaped Amy's confinement cell...She does not say.

"Geesh..." Howard frowns... "Some "confinement cell"...That was a dungeon...And a preety filthy one too, as I recall. Not to mention, Kripke being a pretty poor choice for jailer."

"She wasn't trying to hurt me...Really...I think..." Amy notes.

Howard and Bernadette eyeing each other…

Hmmn…I'd have to say…

"And as for Leonard...Well, if I woke up on an operating table and found my grieving boyfriend trying to dissect me...Even for my own good..."

And he'll probably recover...In time...she points out...

"If we ever find him after he disappeared in the woods…Well...We really can't tell how Penny feels now..." Stuart notes... "She wasn't able to speak a single word...She may be too brain-damaged to even know what's going on..."

"I guess I've loused this one up from beginning to end...And my poor Penny is the one really suffering for it…" Amy sighs...

Outside the Castle, the mayor...A bumbling, well-meaning type elected after Richard's demise...has arrived...

To safeguard life and property he pompously announces...

Bernadette comes out, demanding protection...Why are they bothering poor newly bereaved and still recovering Baroness Dr. Amy...?

What would she know about some...Monster...?

"Precisely why I am here…" the mayor nodded. "To quell these foolish rumors and show our third-largest employer support in her time of grief. Please pass on my condolences as to her mother, the former Baroness…"

Course...You might get some answers from that Amy Fowlerstein...If you went and stormed her place...A voice from the mob.

"Storm the Castle Fowlerstein?...Our third biggest employer's home?...Are you crazy?..." one of the mob notes...

Anyway...They say the monster is the Baroness' dead friend, revived...another notes...

Hmmn…The mayor eyes the uncertain, wavering mob…

"This isn't anything to do with gay marriage…?" he hisses to Bernadette. "Rather a hot-button issue in this backward town."

"What? No…Amy's marrying that nice Stuart Bloom soon as she's completely well and all this nonsense is over." Bernadette insisted.

("Was it necessary to hint at a homosexual relationship between me and Amy?" Penny asked Leonard.

"Don't give me that 'well, was it?' look, Hofstadter." She glared.)

So...We take or kill Baroness Fowlerstein and the monster will leave us be...another finishes...

Kinda fail to see the logic in that...Howard, now out to join Bernadette, notes...

"Here...Now...You foolish people..." the mayor calls... "No one is storming anything or killing anyone...Go back to your homes and your work...This strange woman you called "the Monster" is dead...We want no rioting...No riots..."

No riots...he glares at Bernadette...

Geesh...Who's rioting?...she glares back...Pompous jackass...

…

In the hills around Pasadena, the same morning...

An exhausted, thirsty, starving...Amy never had even bothered to feed her...Penny stumbles through the woods...Tearing out some roots to eat...She spies a stream and runs over...Drinking frantically...

She sees her hideous reflection in the still water and screams at it...AHH!GRR!...Splashing the water angrily to disperse it...

And rising, catches sight of a young girl tending ostriches up on a ledge above her stream...

(Ostriches...? Howard looks at Bernadette...Who shrugs...In California these days, it seemed to make more sense than sheep, she notes...)

Penny, in a somewhat calmer mood now, hurries over to try to make contact...Really very hungry...But no hurting...

"Hi there..." she tries to call...Waving as best she can with her burned arms...

Unfortunately...It still comes out as Grrr...Arggh...Just a bit more gentle...

The girl screams at the hideous apparition below her...And stumbling, falls off the ledge into the stream below...

Hmmn...Penny thinks...No float...Bad...

Guess better help...she runs in and drags the girl to safety...

The ex-lifeguard of the Omaha community pool is back to saving...she thinks happily...

"AHHHH!..." the girl screams at her on reviving...

"Don't you touch me!..."

My mother told me about strange women like you...!...she continues...

Hey...?...That's mean...Penny thinks...

I save...She tries...

Unfortunately...Only..."Grrr..." comes out as yet...

"AHHHH!..." the girl continues...

Conversation becoming monotonous...Penny notes to herself, once again reaching pissed level...

Grrr...she barks at the girl, meaning it this time...

Would please be quiet...No want lynch mob...

Again...she thinks...

Two hunters appear out of the woods, rushing to the sounds of screaming...

"Look...It's the monster!..."one notes.

Penny backs off...Gently waving her hands in pleading mode...

Hmmn...Hideous...But nice eyes...One of the hunters notes.

"Hi...Could you guys help?...Hurt..." she tries.

Grrr...again only...

God damn that Amy she thinks...What the hell did she do to speech center...?

The first hunter fires...Hitting her arm..She rears back in pain.

"Quick!" he turns to his companion... "Drive back to town and fetch the mayor...Tell him it's the monster!"

Monster...?...Penny thinks...Running off...

That's no way to talk...

Geesh...I didn't think I looked that bad, considering I'd spent all night in the woods and haven't had a bath or change of clothes since I was resurrected.


	4. Chapter 4

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part IV...

The angry would-be lynch mob around the Castle Fowlerstein is now distracted by the news from the hunter returning from the woods...

"She's in the woods...! The monster!..." he cries, running up to the mayor...

The mayor takes decisive action...Turning to the Pasadena PD chief beside him...

"Get out the bloodhounds!...Gather up all the adults you can!...Lock the children and any pregnant women indoors and wait for me!...Monster, indeed!...I'll show her... " he fumes...

Stuart...? Amy looks at him as they both stare out the living room window at the rapidly moving crowd...

Rapidly moving crowd...Away from the house...he notes with relief...But they don't seem to be dispersing...

Bernadette bursts in excitedly...The shouts of the moving mob, now actually swelling in size, Howard notes...Are heard through the door as she enters...

"Kill her!...The monster's in the woods!...Get her!...Get the hounds!..." various cries are heard...

"They've got a lead on the..." Bernadette eyes a worried Amy...

"On Penny...She's in the woods!...They're heading out to..."

Howard shakes his head at her...

Bring her home...she lamely finishes...

"They're going kill her!...Stuart, can't you do something?..." Amy cries.

Don't think telling the mob Penny is our responsibility is the best plan here, Amy...he notes.

"We've gotta find her first...!" Amy notes...Rushing for the door...

Bernadette and Howard look at each other...Finding Penny first...Alone...In her present state...?

Not exactly something close to their hearts...Much as they regret what's happened to their friend...

Still...Amy is right, Howard notes...We gotta try to save her...

They head out for the car...

The mob...Er, posse of duly deputized law enforcement officials...Well, that's how the Pasadena Mayor's Office will spin the story tomorrow...Has reached the wooded hills around town...

Heavily armed, with baying hounds howling through the trees...

A terrified Penny is racing ahead of them...Almost cornered...

Far at the rear of the mob, Stuart, Howard, and Amy try to make their way through...Hoping to reach the mayor and police chief...Persuade them somehow to go easy...

Bernadette is pushing through rather better to the head...But is more concerned with seeing Penny taken than providing for her survival...

No offense but Howard and Amy just don't know evil when they see it...

If Penny can be taken and dealt with later, all well and good...But she has no intention of seeing the monstrous new Penny smashing into her and Howard's home one night with a chip on her shoulder regarding her resurrection process...

And she's been on the receiving end of resurrected Pen's choke hold...Not a pleasant experience, she can tell you...

Surrounded on all sides...Penny races up a small hill...Hiding behind a boulder...But the hounds are on to her...

Geesh...You bastards...I'm not the cause of this. she thinks...

Damn...What a week...What a year...How was I to know that acting gig wasn't real and the guy was some sort of wannabe Dexter, without the nice feature of only killing serial killers?

And he was rude to boot… "I'm eliminating bad acting from the face of the world…"? Great, everyone's a critic?

And while I wasn't keen to die…And miss Leonard…Sorry about the choking, sweetie…I didn't ask to be resurrected.

Especially in this dress…She glances down.

God, Amy…What were you thinking?

Though black does work for me…

The dogs lead their masters to her hill...She tries frightening them by rolling a boulder down on them...No good...They swarm up the hill and all over her...Too many...She can't fight them, at first not without inflicting serious damage and then...Not at all, even with her anger pushing her over the edge...

Ow!...Ow!...Stop it...Hurting me!...Hey!...she cries, sobbing, as they beat and kick her...Hey!...she sobs...

Grrr...! Is all they hear...

Hey!...she sobs...That's my only dress...! As they tear at her...

Several begin tying her up securely...Most continue to hit or throw rocks at her...

The mayor comes forward...

"Now, now...Bind her securely...We don't want anything slipshod...Tie her feet first...Her feet first!..." he vainly calls...

"Oh, I get no cooperation..." he sighs... "None at all..."

"Have you got her?..." Bernadette cries, reaching him... "That's what I want to know...? Have you got her?..."

Of course we've got her, my good woman...Nothing to worry about...the mayor insists...

"Well...Mind you she doesn't get loose again...She might do some damage...And hurt somebody..."

"Bring her down as soon as you've got her bound securely..." the mayor calls...

"Need any help up there?..." Bernadette cries, forgetting herself in the heat of the moment...

"I'll bind her!..."

Oops...She notes Amy, Stuart, and Howard coming up...

"They've got her..." Bernadette tells them...

"She's fine..." she smiles at Dawn...

"They're just restraining her..."

Amy stares up the hill...To see the mob carrying Penny down, bound to a pole...

"Penny!..." she cries...Trying to run over...

Stuart holds her back...

"We can't help her now, Am..." he tells her...Staring at the howling mass in front of them... "This mob will turn on us if we don't keep quiet...Lets get her back to town in one piece and we'll speak to the mayor and see what we can do later..."

She'll be ok...he assures her...

("Excuse me…Stu?" Sheldon, frowning… "Suppose we refrain from unnecessary use of diminutive pet names in this production, shall we?")

Members of the mob...Er duly deputized posse...Bring a large cart over...The pole is raised up with a sobbing, bleeding Penny gasping in agony, bound to it...

Gee...Howard thinks, moved...She looks just like that you know who guy on the cross in Bernadette's church...

Amy sees it too...And sobs...

Penny!...she cries...Stuart hugs her, crying himself...

(Oh, he'll cry all right…If he hugs her again.)

Poor Penny too far away to hear...And surrounded by screaming maniacs...Pelted by sticks and stones...

The mob releases the pole and it and the bound Penny fall into the cart...They drag it triumphantly to downtown Pasadena...Several men holding pitchforks round her neck, arms, and legs...

God...No bad boyfriend ever treat me like this...the sobbing, but enraging Penny moans to herself...

Oh...Where Leonard?...Where my friends?...No one...All hate me...she thinks...

"Someone did read her her rights, right...?" the police chief briefly eyes one of his men in the crowd as they reach the main police station...

Oh, yeah...Louie did that, right Louie?...the cop eyes another cop among those now surrounding the cart...Preparing to move the "monster" into the station...

Yeah, yeah...Louie nods...Just before we tied her up...

"Well...Good..." the mayor notes...

Nothing slipshod...

"Thank God the thing can't speak..." the chief hisses to one of his subordinates as he moves off to supervise the booking of the strange maniacal woman thing...

We'd be facing quite a lawsuit...

"Take her to the old cells in the sub-basement..." the mayor calls to the chief...Who nods...

"Please...Can't we see her?..." Amy sobs, pleading with Howard to the desk attendant...

She's...My best friend...Amy blurts out...

Right...The desk cop eyes her...

"Fill out this form..." he pushes a form...

They'll let you know in a couple of days...

What?...Howard stares at him...

"That's the procedure..." the cop notes...

"But...She has a right to an attorney...A phone call..."

"She doesn't speak...She's dangerously violent...The court will appoint a legal guardian...Fill out the forms and you'll hear back in a couple of days..." the cop closes the discussion...

God...Some clown already claiming to be that thing's relative...he thinks...Eyeing Howard...

Just wanta get a picture of it and try to make up some story for the tabloids...

Jesus...First dealing with that crazy girl in Sunnydale back down in the valley and her talk of the undead, now this lunacy here…Do I need a transfer from this looney bin state...he notes to himself.

In the dank sub-basement cells, the mayor, police chief and a quartet of cops "secure" the prisoner...

Chaining her to a huge chair with a stocks-like head-board...Binding her with more chain and finally pounding two huge stakes also chained to her into the ground...

"Come, come..." the mayor grouses... "Lets not take all day over this."

I wanta lawyer...Let me outta here!...Bastards!...Penny cries...

Unfortunately only... "GRRR!..ARGGH!..." still coming out...

Hey, she cries at one cop...I know you...I gave you that tip about free meals on Cop Appreciation Day at the Cheesecake...OW!...as he and his partner shove her head into the stocks...

GRRRRR! GRRRRR!...OW!...All they hear...

"Quiet down..." one cop whacks her face...

You guys all dead! she howls...As they leave...

No more nice girl!...Bastards!...she sobs...

Somebody!...Help!...she screams...Rattling her chains...

Nobody help...All bastards...she thinks...

Wish Leonard here...He help...He love me...

Leonard?...Yes...I remember...Yes, I hurt…Spiritually before as well as physically...but...Love me...

Oh…Me hurt him…But he not like others…I hope. He forgive.

Assuming I didn't kill the lil' guy…Oh, no…No…He was still breathing, I sure…

Note to Pennyself…Learn control rage. Extra important nowadays.

Never sure...Why he love me...Why I love him…So different. But he always say… "That's why I love you, Penny." He always forgive me when I screw up.

Well, really different now…And really screw up…Sigh.

Could even he love me now?...she sobs...


	5. Chapter 5

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part V...

Amy sits dejectedly with Howard and Bernadette on a bench at the Sunnydale PD...As Stuart, standing, attempts to fill out the form the desk cop had provided...

"Hey...?" Amy lifts her head...

"Maybe we should call Penny's father?...He's a relative, he could get her out, right?"

Ummn...Howard looks at Bernadette...Bernadette at him...

Ummn...Amy...Remember in the first coupla days?...After you resurrected Penny as the...er in her new form?...Howard hesitantly begins…

And Leonard though when you got him to come see that the police claim that Penny'd been murdered was wrong…And that she was just in your clinic?

Yeah?...Amy looks at them...

"So…?"

What happened...?"

Well... "Leonard…In his joy, thinking Penny wasn't dead…Maybe…Called a few people…To share the joy when you offered to put her on video at his place?"...Howard cautiously replies.

"Her father was with us in the room..." Bernadette chimes in... "He screamed and ran like hell. We haven't heard from him since."

Bernie?...Howard looks at her...

Well...There's no sense in pretending...Bernadette notes...

"But...Wait a minute...? What about Leonard?" Amy looks at them...

He's around out there yet...she notes... "If we could just find him…"

"Yeah...I'm afraid he doesn't want to be found, Am." Howard sighs.

"Howard…I think you know where he is…" Amy insists..."He'll help her, I know it..."

"Well, that's that…" Stuart had come back after dropping off the form. "We may as well go home…It'll be at least a week."

"We have to get Leonard." Amy insisted. "Howard? You're one of his closest friends…You must know where he is."

"Even if I did…Even if he would come...What can he do?..." Howard notes. "Amy, he's still recovering, he was badly hurt by her."

"She'd listen to him. He'd help her...I know it..." Amy frowns...

"Bernadette...Take me over to Leonard...Now...I know you know where he is…Come on, Stuart." she hops up...

"Howard, you keep trying...See if the mayor will listen to you if you can see him...Then come over..."

He and Bernadette look at each other...

Well, at least it's a plan...

And Leonard didn't say not to come…

But, in the bowels of the sub-basement...Penny has reached her breaking points...As have the chains...

She tears the spikes out of the ground, rips the stock and chain from her neck...Howling with rage...

Two cops race back...

"She's loose...Shoot her!..." one screams to his partner as Penny tears off the last chains...

The shot misses as she reaches and batters at the door...In a instant it's down...She tosses one cop aside...The other races for an open cell, screaming...

"She's loose!..."

ARGH! GRRR!...she tears at the sub-basement main door, ripping it off its hinges...And races for the stairs...

The mayor in the main lobby of the police station faces a group of reporters and concerned citizens...Howard waiting his chance to speak to him...As Bernadette, Stuart, and Amy prepare to head out.

"Yes..." the mayor proudly notes... "Just an escaped lunatic...Merely wanted someone to handle her..."

Several cops run up the lower level stairs from below, screaming in panic...

A raging, seven-foot tall Penny hot on their trail...

In no mood to stop and chat with her dear ole friends.

The fleeing crowd cutting Amy and Bernadette off from any chance of reaching Penny in any case...

Bernadette spies Howard in the raging Penny's path...

"Shoot her!..." she cries to several cops... "Why don't you shoot her?..."

"Bernadette!..." Amy backs away from her...

"I won't let that thing hurt my Howard!..." Bernadette glares fiercely...

Meanwhile Howard has been trying to unsuccessfully make some contact with his tormented friend...As Stuart tries to keep Amy from following…

But Penny's rather busy tossing cops aside and dodging bullets...

Before he can try to get close, she's fled out the door...Chasing the fleeing mayor and police chief as well as several cops and reporters...

Howard...! Bernadette runs to him...He's been knocked down and trampled by some of the last fleeing cops...

An angry Amy stands away from her...But sees the station full of injured cops, reporters, bystanders...Stuart hurrying to the couple…

"Amy..." Bernadette looks up to her from where she kneels by Howard...

"I'm sorry...But..."

Amy glares at her and heads for the door...

Go after her...Howard hisses to Stuart...

"I'll be fine...Bernie's got me…"

You betcha…And I got the gun one of those dimwitted cops dropped.

Penny comes back…I'm blastin' first, pitying later…

….

In the early twilight, Penny finds herself at what she remembers suddenly is the city park, conveniently located next to the city's cemetery...

She races through...Hearing faint cries of pursuit in the distance...Seeing a familiar-looking monument just by the park gates...

The statue of some explorer guy Leonard always liked to go see…A shack near the monument…

Caretaker's toolshed or something…

Rushing to it...The cries fade away...No one looking for her here...Yet...

She hears the faint sounds of a television inside...Comforting her somehow...

But...She is afraid...Why am I here?...There can't be…Wait...Yes...I know this place...

We did our paintball stuff here…We used to meet inside the shack…

She moves, knocking a standing rake by the monument to the ground...

At the doorway to the shack, Leonard appears…

Oh…Leonard...

"All right, kiddies...Very funny...Fool the blind guy…" he calls...

Now say hello to the bogeyman and get the hell out of here...he grouses...

"Before I feed you to a real bogeyman..."

"Well?...Cat got your tongue?..." he peers out...

Right...he turns and goes back inside...

Leonard...Penny breathes...

Oh...Please...

But if he no like me...Like I am...Now...

Oh God,...Help me...Please...

Oh, Leonard…If you ever loved me...

If you ever cared for me...Forgive me…

Though, what's a great scientist and healer like you doing in a shack in the city park?

I may be brain-damaged but that can't be good…

And why are you alone here?

I ask you, what is with these "friends" of ours? If I hurt you, you should be in…

Oh…I put my boyfriend in the hospital! Oh, I remember…I almost killed you!

"No…OH…!" sob…Stifling…

She moves toward the entrance...

Crunching some gravel...She pulls back a bit...

Leonard comes over again...

"Damn...Who is it?...Howard, is that you?..."

"Bernadette, I keep telling you to stay away from here at nightfall...God damn..." he sighs... "Just let me…"

"Leonard...?" Penny growls out...Stepping forward...

"Who?"

"Swe…etie?"

Oh my God...he gasps...

"Penny...?...What?"

"Oh God, Penny..." he embraces her...She grabs at him...Sobbing...

"Come in, come in..." He leads her in...

"Leo…Nard...What...?" ...Penny tried to force out her questions.

She stares at him...Trying to speak...

DAMNIT!...he shrieks...Startling her...

"Sorry!" she gasps. "You mad?"

"That goddamn Amy!...I knew she'd try something!... Didn't even consider speaking to me first..." he raged. "No one ever listens…"

"I…Leonie? Please no mad…" she begged. "I sorry…"

"No, Penny…It's ok…I'm not mad at you."

"I go…" she tried to turn. "Sor…"

"Stay…" he called…Reaching…

Blindly…

"Leonard…? What's wrong?" she managed to get out in her horror.

"You hurt?"

"I'm blind, Penny."

"Say what?" she gasped. "No…Me? Ohhh…No!"

She slapped her head, hard… "Bad, bad!"

"No, Penny…Stop it!" he'd found her, grabbing… "It was an accident…You didn't know what you were doing…"

Actually…She sighed.

"Me…Choke…Oh…Leonard…" she sobbed.

"No…It was an accident…When I fell I knocked over a tray of chemicals…Some got into my eyes." He explained.

"Me fault…Me…" she groaned.

"I shouldn't have tried to do…What I did…" he sighed. "But I thought I was doing what you'd want."

Excuse? She blinked.

When I tell you I want to be cut up if ever resurrected badly?

"I couldn't bear the thought of you suffering but I thought I knew best…You know me." He sighed.

"Yeah." Laconically…Frowning.

Good ole Leonard, knowing what's best for his girl…

Turning to a gasp of horror as he reached out again, fumbling…

No…He only wanted to spare me…

Maybe in a rather odd way but intention good…

"Oh…Leonard…"

"Oh, my poor lamb..." he hugs her... "My poor Penny...What have we done to you?" he sobs...

Leonard...she moans...Stroking his hair as she sobs...


	6. Chapter 6

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part VI...

With angry searchers combing the streets and nearby hills of Pasadena, Amy is finally persuaded by Bernadette and a slightly injured Howard to give up any further attempt to find Penny this night...

But they agree it's time she got involved...No way can she be scooting off to wedded bliss in a few days with Stuart to forget all about the mess she's made...

Uh…Yeah…Amy nods…

Geesh…Try to help a friend and look at the thanks you get…

After some words from Howard, strongly backed by Stuart, Amy agrees to continue the search tomorrow with helpers from her family estate...

Geesh, why are they all so mad at me?...she thinks, looking at Stuart's solemn face as they pull up to the castle entrance...

After all, Penny nearly killed me when I tried to capture her before...

I mean I resurrected our old friend...And scored a biggie for Neurobiology in the process…Where's the gratitude?

("If you're looking for thanks from this crowd, forget it, sister." Sheldon sighs. "I've spent years selflessly working to improve their lot with helpful suggestions and guidance…Not a word of thanks."

"Comparatively speaking I could agree that what Sheldon's done for us in the past is about as good as Amy stuffing dead Penny's damaged brain into a corpse and reanimating it without regard for the consequences." Leonard notes.

"Well, thanks, old friend. It's nice to get a little appreciation at last, however belated." Sheldon, nodding.)

…

"Leonard? Why you…Here?" Penny asked, looking round the shack.

"It's quiet…I know the place. I didn't want to sit around my apartment alone." He shrugged. "Or as more likely, be dumped in a hospital. I had Howard and Bernadette set me up here. They've been stopping by to bring food and stuff. I've been ok."

Food…That magic word…

"You should have something…" he went to a shelf, feeling…

"I've some bread…"

Oooh…

"…And part of one of Howard's mom's briskets…"

"Please…" she gasps…

"Here, sweetheart…" he comes back to her reaching out with bowl in which he'd placed food.

"Oh…Good…Good…" she eats with fingers, desperately…

God bless Mrs. W and her melt-in-the-mouth brisket…

"I imagine you haven't had much since…What happened…" he notes.

"Good…Ummn…" she tried to preserve a bit of decorum… "Thanks."

"No problem. I guess I'm not entirely useless…" smile.

"Leonard…" she sobs…

"Oh, no…Penny…" he reaches for her…She taking and guiding his hands… "I was just joking, it's all right. I actually am glad to be of some help to you at last."

"Always…Always…" she moaned…Kissing his hands…

"Well, look…You need sleep, I'm sure…Come and lie down." He rose, guiding her gently to a spot where he'd lain out some blankets on the floor.

"You…?" she looked at him. "I so ugly…I know you no want…"

"Shhh…Lie down with me…" he pulled her down.

"Oh…Leonard…"

"It's going to be all right, Penny…I promise…We'll get through this. There's always a way." He noted. "We just have to remember the thing that's important is that we love each other."

"Leonard, Leonard…Leonard…" she sobs… "Sorry…Brain go stuck times now." She notes.

"It's fine…And I am so happy to have you back…" he hugs her. "As long as we can be together…Nothing else matters…"

…

The next day, early morning in the shack…

"Feeling better, Penny?..." Leonard kneels by Penny, carefully washing her wounds, putting more salve on her burns...

She nods...And pulls for him to come over for a kiss...

Staring at him as he does so happily...

Can't you see what I am now?...she tries to say...Holding his hands and looking into his eyes...

Choking out... "Can't...see...me..But remember?.." harshly.

"You are my Penny, Penny...That's what I see...Whatever Amy did to you..." he pats her.

Hmmn…

Maybe blind thing not worst problem we could have…she reflected.

Penny having managed to choke out enough the night before to give him a basic idea of what had happened since her fleeing Amy's lab...

Amy and her damned arrogance...Always knew it'd get her into trouble one of these days...

Just...Why didn't she confine it to her own damned self...Experiment on her own fiancé…He notes.

She catching quickly at the word…

"Fiance...?" Penny chokes out...

Yeah...he nods... "That is, if you'd be willing? I know it's not exactly the dream marriage you'd hoped for…"

"Leonard…Dead…Me…" she tries to force it…

"You're not dead, Penny." He shakes head. "You were dead for a little while and you had some trouble from it. But that happens…Couples deal with disability. We can find a way, if you want to."

Whoa…

"And after all, I could use a seven foot protector…" he grins…

"Never bully again…" she got out…Grinning back.

"Then my dreams of romance are complete, right?" he smiles to her, kissing her.

"I…Afraid…Leonard…"

"I won't abandon you, Penny…Not while I live."

"I…Angry…Hard…"

"You didn't know what you were doing…We've been fine since you got your bearings, right…?"

"Right…" she nods…

"Really…Want?"

"Really do, Pen…" he kisses her. "More than anything…"

"Leonard…God bless…"

"He sure did…" beam. Pat.

She staggers to him...Hugging him...

"It been awful for us both…But it's all right now..." he looks up at her...

"No matter what they did to us both...We found each other again...And we'll never let them separate us."

She kneels and puts her head in his lap, sobbing...As he strokes her hair...

….

Amy and Stuart, backed by Kripke and Raj arrive at the Wolowitz-Rosenkowski home...Bernadette, and Howard waiting by his car...

"We don't need guns!..." Howard glares at Raj's shotgun...And the pistols Kripke pulls out to offer any takers…

"Howard...She is dangerous..." Amy notes.

"Thanks to you!..." Howard eyes her.

"Making a mess of her...Who asked you to resurrect her?...Then, locking her up like an animal! Now we hunt her down like that crazed lynch mob at the mill?" he fumes.

"Howie…" Bernadette, gently.

"My friend Leonard, injured for life…Penny, God knows what she is now…Amy, I've been patient with you up to now, but this…" he sputters.

"Nice speech, Wolowitz…" Kripke sneers… "But fwor your information, I am not going after that nutcwase without prwotection."

"Howard, I can't ask my people to go after her without something…" Amy sighs.

"Howard, Amy is doing her best…All she can to help…" Stuart insists.

Well, there is one thing more I could do… Amy thought.

But…No…That's crazy thinking…

Howard looks at Amy...

"Sorry…It's been a rough time. But I'm sure Penny won't harm anyone…Can't we just leave the guns."

"Yeah…Wlets take our chances with the eight foot psycho blonde frweak…" Kripke nods.

"Seven…" Bernadette corrected.

"Who cares…?" Kripke glares.

Amy looks sheepishly at her fiance...

"She didn't mean to hurt Penny, Howard...And we won't here." Stuart chimes in...

"Actually we got tranquillizer dart guns..." he points to a box in the open trunk...And this...He has Raj bring out a large net...

"It's specially reinforced...Even our new Penny won't break through..." Raj notes proudly...

I hope...he looks a bit uncertain...Backing off...

Moron...Kripke whacks him as they stand together...

"Well...It's never been tested on Penny, you know..." Raj hisses back...

"But...Even if we catch Penny...What are we gonna do?...Chain her up in your lab again...?" Howard eyes Amy...

Well...I was thinking along those lines...Amy thinks sheepishly...

I'm certainly not gonna let her stay in my family castle with my fiancee...

Not only kills the romance, she might literally kill…

"We'll try to help her, Howard...But we can't do that until we capture her...Before the search parties do...Or she kills some of them..."

And gets me in a hell of a lot of hot water...Amy notes to herself...

"We'll find a way to help her, Howard..." Stuart tries to reassure him...

"Great..." Howard nods... "Then we start by ditching the guns..."

"Ok..." Amy sighs...Dump the guns, guys...she turns to her employees...

What?...Kripke looks at Raj...

We'll have the darts, the net was your idea...he notes in reply... "And you keep going on about how you scared her off with fire back at the lab."

"So..." Howard eyes the others as Kripke grumblingly assists Raj in carrying the guns to the Summers' house...Naturally retaining one pistol for himself...

"Where do we start?..."

"We should try seeing Leonard first..." Amy notes.

"Even if she didn't go there, he might have some ideas..."

If he doesn't kill you, Amy after you did...Bernadette glares at Amy...

"Geesh...Why is she so mad at me?" Amy grumbles to Stuart as they get in their cars.

…

"So...How's about a lesson?..." Leonard smiles at Penny...Now sitting at table with him...

He raises a loaf of bread...Really nice bread, she notes...Not the processed crap...

She thinks...Ummn...

C'mon Leonard, help me out here...Oh, wait…

"Br...Bread..." she proudly croaks out...

"Good...Wonderful, Penny..." he hands her the loaf and she tears into it with her teeth...

"Good...Good..." she chokes out...

God is it ever...After four days without food...Damn that bad Amy...Some bestie friend...Geesh...

"And this is...?"

Wine...? she hopefully asks...

"Hmmn...I want to go easy on the alcohol with you, honey...That one drink last night seemed to get you flying...This is soda..." Leonard notes...

"So...da..." she repeats happily...

"Diet...?" she asks...Looking at the mug in which he's poured her drink...

"With Penny?...Naturally..." he grins back...

"Can't let you lose that figure...Though really...You could stand to put a few pounds on..."

"We are lovers...Husband and wife, practically...And friends...You and I..." Leonard smiles gently at her...

"Lovers...Friends..." she croaks, beaming at him...

"Good...Lovers and Friends...Husband...Good..." she hugs him...Knocking over the table things...

Oh...Sorry...she sits, trying to recover her decorum...

No problem...he grins..."And very good with the speaking..."

"Leon...ard" she tries...

"Me...I so...Ug...Ugly..." she turns away...

"Look at me, Penny." he firmly calls to her...

"Me...Am...I..." she pauses, searching...

Bad...?...Evil...

"No...Never Penny...No matter what the Fates and the Powers that Be have done to you...Never Evil, my sweet girl...You're My Penelope..." he pats her...

And I see only my Penny in there...

"Oh..." she tears up...

Smashing her mug on the table...Oops...

Sorry...Stronger now...

"What...?" she pauses, staring at him...

"What we do...Now...Leonard?"

"I'm going to take you away, Penny...If you want to come..." he pauses...

Somewhere where we can live our lives in peace...Far away...And where we won't be threatened by anyone...Human or demon...

"Yes...Please...Leonard..." she sighs...Closing her eyes...At peace at last...Like Heaven was...If I was in Heaven till Amy dragged me back.

"Maybe we can arrange a visit by the guys...If you want them sometime..." he continues...

"But I hurt some, first time..."

"Not mean to..." she hastily notes...Looking down... "I…Upset…Oh…" tearing…

"Think I lose it…Kill some guys…Not sure…All mixed…Up…" woebegone tone… "I go prison…Bad…Bad…" she shook her head.

"No, Penny." He insists… "I'm sure you weren't responsible for your actions, your brain was recovering. Even if a court might have trouble understanding, that's what I believe. Well...In time...When they see you've recovered your memory and so on...The guys'll come round." he hugs her a bit.

"God bless...My…Leonard..." she hugs him tightly…

Oh…Sorry!…As he gasps.

"No, fine…It's good." Wave…


	7. Chapter 7

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part VII...

Penny's well meaning friends have reached the park where she hides with the blinded Leonard in the paintball shack...Currently rented by Howard and Bernadette so as to keep unwanted visitors away.

Along with Amy's assistants the sympathetic Raj and the not-really-giving-a-damn-so-long-as-I'm-paid-and-P enny the freak-doesn't-get-another-whack-at-me Kripke...

"We have Leonard just over here..." Bernadette notes. Taking the lead...

"I hear music…In the paintball shack?" Raj stares.

"He's probably on his cello." Howard shrugged to Raj's look. "He wanted to get away from everyone and everything…It was either get him to stay here or find he'd gone wandering off alone." Howard sighed. "We'd been bringing him food and stuff, hoping he'd eventually agree to come home." He looked to where in the soft ground around the gate entrance, footprints could be seen.

Large footprints…Of extremely sensible shoes…

"Amy?" he pointed to the footprints… "Do those by any chance resemble the shoes you got for resurrected Penny?"

Wait, Bernie...Howard calls...Hurrying up to her...

"Let me, Raj, and Kripke go in first and check things out."

"You think?" Stuart eyes Amy…

"Could be…It's an unusually large size…And for some strange reason, this particular shoe style doesn't seem to be all that popular."

"Come on, guys…" Howard urges…

"Eh…I'm not gettin' anything like hazardous duty pay, Wolowitz…" Kripke notes. "After you…And Rajesh. I'll have your backs."

"Right." Roll of eyes, Howard stepping ahead. "Bernie! Willya wait?!"

"Hey!. I can handle a blind man in a paintball…Ooops…" Bernadette eyes the scene before her through the open door.

Leonard carefully playing on his cello as a delighted seven foot badly scarred and green-skinned Penny listened far more attentively than she'd ever done in her previous life. Penny turning and giving narrow look at the utterly unwelcome intruder…Rising with growl.

"Uh…Hey, Leonard…Oh...Hello, Penny..." Bernadette tries to put on fake smile...

"Howard! Oh, Howard?! Please get over here!"

Grrr...she growls at Bernadette...She knows who sent her...

"Who's there?" Leonard rising now…Penny looking to cover him from any potential threat. "Bernadette? Is that you?"

"Well don't you two look so nice..." Bernadette smiles to him, woodenly...Turning back to Penny, now standing back against the shack wall...

"Penny...? Would you come with me?...Amy wants me to bring you back to her lab...Just a few tests."

"GRRRR!...F-Amy...!...F- lab!" Penny yelps, moving forward…

"HOWARD!"

"No, Penny..." Leonard moves to wave her back...

"Bernie?!...Leonard?!" "Bernadette?!" calls from outside...

"Penny's here...She doesn't want to come..." Bernadette, nervously. "I'll just be…"

"Bernie, Penny is all right…She just needed some time…" Leonard insists.

"Leaving…Good idea." Penny growls.

"Whoa." Raj blinks… "Hey, guys…Penny…Nice to see you." He nods nervously.

"Who's that now? Raj?" Leonard, anxiously. "Guys, can't you just leave us alone? It's fine."

"Leonard?" Howard entered… "Bernadette, please come back here…"

Oh, yeah… She moves back to the door.

"Grrr…" Penny eyes the additional intruders…And fumes as Kripke enters…

"Uh-boy…" he stares. "The frweak is hwere…"

"I know that's gotta be Kripke…" Leonard sighs.

"Go…Go…Go…" Penny, pointing.

"Really guys…We were just fine…" Leonard tries.

"Leonard, not wanting to spoil your little idyll with your girl but she's been tearing and killing her way across Pasadena today…I really think you ought to come with me and let Howard, Raj, and Kripke…" Bernadette begins.

"Hwofstadter, the frweak is an inswane kwiller…" Kripke insists. "Now get outta the way, blwind bwoy and let the prwofessionals handle this." He pulls gun.

"Kripke!" Howard, anxiously. "We said no guns!"

"Guns! No!" Leonard steps forward.

"NO! Leonard!" Penny grabs at him…

A nervous Kripke fires at her, naturally striking Leonard…Who falls…

"LEONARD!...GRRRRRRR!" Penny, grabbing at him…Letting him down to the floor, turning, all in an instant, now enraged…

Penny rushes to grab Bernadette...Not wanting to go against Leonard's suggestion of a non-violent approach but given the situation...

"HOWARD! Help me!"

"Penny, no!" Howard, desperately… "Please, I'm sorry…We're your friends…Let Bernie go, please…We just wanna help."

Penny eyeing Leonard on the ground…Then Howard as she keeps a grip on the struggling Bernadette.

Oh, really…Help?

Amy, followed by Stuart, now reach the entrance...

"Penny! Don't hurt her!..." Leonard calls, feebly to Penny...Bernadette struggling with a very pissed Penny.

OW!...Penny screams as Bernadette grabs her badly burned arm...

Hurt!...she yells at the terrified Bernadette...Who screams in rather annoying terror.

Not with the screaming again…Penny glares…

What is it with the living and all this screaming stuff?

"Penny…Please!" Leonard calls. "Guys? Don't!"

Penny tenses but releases Bernadette who runs to Howard at the entrance…

Howard urging the rest to back off...Penny eyeing them…Catching sight of Amy, her rage rises.

Looking a bit flustered, though as she glances at Leonard on the ground...

"Hurt…" she looks at Howard…Trying to keep control.

Not easy with this bunch of interfering busybodies and mad ghoulish "scientists".

"I'm sorry, Penny…We'll get him to…" Howard begins…

"Bwack off, Wolowitz…" Kripke steps forward. "I gwotta clwear shot at it now!"

"No!" Amy calls…Stuart and Raj moving to stop Kripke.

The gun going off again…Again missing Penny but striking the little electric stove Leonard had been cooking on…It falls, unnoticed for the moment.

"Penny?..."Amy calls...

"Lemme go! I hwad hwer you mworns!" Kripke, struggling with Raj and Stuart…

Penny hurrying to grab Leonard…

"HURT!..." Penny yells, touching her arm, then gently lifting the now unconscious Leonard...

So much for my little romantic tryst...Damn these people, she thinks...

"Penny...It's me..." Amy cries...

Howard, moving Bernadette back, begins loading his tranquillizer gun...

No other way to getting Leonard out…Penny won't believe us now.

"I...Know...You..." Penny growls...

All Bad...! she snarls at them...

"You...Hurt...!" she waves her burned arm at Amy and Howard...Glancing to indicate the wounded Leonard in her arm's grip. He groaning now…

My, she's doing better...Amy notes to herself...Smiling at Stuart...Who gives her a horrified look, glancing at Penny. Not yet having seen her so close…

Hey...Maybe I didn't screw her up so bad at that...Amy beams.

Startled at Stuart's…"Amy? You did this to her?"

"Well…" Amy, a bit nonplussed… "Sorta…"

Leonard stiring…

"Honey?" Penny, anxiously… "Leonard?"

"Penny! Let us take Leonard out of here…" Stuart tries. "He's got to get to a hospital!"

"You…Hurt!" she rages…

"Penny…No…" Leonard, groaning… "Please…Don't hurt her…" he tries to stand as she assists him. "Guys…"

Howard takes aim...A clear shot...No other way now…

"No, Howard!...Wait!..." Stuart cries...

He fires several times...Hitting Leonard who jerks himself in front of Penny...

Damn...He groans...

Staggering groggily...

Penny grabs at him...

"Leonard!..." she cries...And glares hideously at the others...

Is something going on between them again? ...Amy hisses to Stuart...

Over against the crypt wall...Sparks from paper burned by the fallen stove landing in some of Leonard's books and clothing…

"Please…Let...us...be..." Leonard gasps as he collapses in Penny's arms...

He passes out...

"Leonard...?" Penny shakes him...

She stares at the others...Grimly...Icily...

"My patience..." , to their astonishment...

"With you people...Is at an end..."

Well...Amy grins to Stuart...I didn't do such a bad job at that...Though where she picked up that gracious accent I'll never know...

Holding Leonard in one arm, Penny charges the group as they face her, standing by the door...

No time for Howard to reload...They scatter a bit...

Howard calling out to her...Penny! No!...As she runs...Out the door, Will under her arm...

Into Kripke and Raj's waiting net, spread for her on the ground outside...

OW!...she screams...Tearing the net to pieces as the others emerge…

Running with Leonard back inside a moment later as both Howard and Kripke move to target her…

"No, Penny! The place is on fire!" Raj cries.

Oh God...Penny inside, with Leonard…Flames quickly roaring through the dry wooden structure, surrounding them.

"Help!..." she cries...

"LEONARD!...Help!..."

"Penny!..." The others call to her as they fall back from the entrance...

She races back from the entrance...Leonard still in hand...Burned and unconscious...

"Leonard...!" she looks for water, a blanket...

The others rush back as close as they dare...She turns on the entrance...

GRRR!...Bastards!...she howls...Throwing a chair at them...

God...Not another fire!...Fire undoubtedly Bad...No question about it...

"Water!..." she screams at the group...The fire and smoke filling the room...

"Come on, Penny!...You gotta come!..." Bernadette screams...

No!...she yells, hugging Leonard...The flames surrounding them now...

"Penny!...No!" Amy cries to her...

"Go…Hell..Bitch Bestie!" Penny rages…

"We can't leave them...!..." Amy turns to the others...

"Amy...We've got to get back...!..." Stuart pulls her back...Out of the door frame...

"Penny...Please...!..." Amy calls to her...

No!...Penny screams at her...Searching for anything to put the flames out...

Stuart drags Amy back...Outside…

Wall, through wall…Penny eyes the back wall…

"Wait, honey…" she sets Leonard down…Not realizing the smoke is now at deadly proportions.

Ooof…

Hmmn…Strong wall…She notes

Again…Ah…Crack…

Her dress and Leonard's clothing are burning now...

"God...!...Mommy!...Help!" Penny screams in torment...

Outside, Amy screams at the others...Smoke billowing out of the crypt...

"Do something!...They're burning in there!..."

Called 911...Bernadette notes...Tending Howard's burns...He rises and looks at the door...

"No! Howard, you can't help them now!..." Bernadette screams...Pulling him back...

Stuart hugs the shrieking Amy...

Crack, crash…Penny tears through the back wall…

Stairs...Stairs...She stumbles, blinded...Desperately holding to Leonard...Heedless of her own burning flesh...

Stairs...she tumbles down the outside stairs to a courtyard...Smoke filling the space here as well...

She struggles across...The fire has spread here as well, burning the dry grass...

And throwing Leonard down on the first patch of unburned ground…Sees that he is terribly burned…And not moving…

Shaking him…

No…NO! "Leonard!"

The fire around them again…Closing…She grabs at him, carrying…Plunging along through the flames…

God, the mill was bad but this?

Stumbling out to a clearing…To find...Nothing is left of her burden but ashes and charred bones in his clothes...

And gives an agonized howl so hideous...So loud...That the others still back by the crumbling, burning shack can hear even over the flames, the blaring fire trucks, and their own cries...

…..

"I don't know what to say..." Raj sighs, patting Howard's shoulder...

They were both dear to me...I wish...I could have done something...

"Yeah...Rweal shwame..." Kripke notes...

The firemen have found nothing in the embers of the shack but ashes, charred clothing and furniture, and a hell of a lot of code violations...

Amy, held by Stuart, stares at the entrance blankly...

But...Turns to Howard, standing beside Bernadette...

"Penny lived through the other fire...?"

"I don't know, Amy...They didn't find anything...And there was a stream for Penny to hide in last time..." Howard notes...Shaking his head sadly. "The whole back area burned…I don't think even she could have made it…"

But if they didn't find...Anything...? Bernadette eyes him...

Amy looks at Stuart...Who shrugs helplessly.

I don't know…

"Forgive me." She whispers forlornly.

He nods…

Bernadette patting the stricken, limping Howard…

"Did your best, Howard...They know you tried..." Kissing him...

Bernadette helps him back to the ambulance...Smoke inhalation and burns spells a trip to Pasadena Hospital...For her and Raj as well...

"She could still be alive..." Amy notes to Stuart after they get the others settled in their ambulances...

And more pissed at us than ever...Stuart replies, a bit sternly.

"She loved Leonard...I thought so...But...I guess this proves it..." he notes..."And now...He's gone...Even she couldn't have saved him in that..."

Yeah...Amy sighs...Staring at the crypt...

But...Maybe...she thinks...

Nah...Enough...I've messed things up enough...

And Sheldon Praetorius is just too sick a puppy to gamble on...

I wish we could reach Dr. Hofstadter... Howard sighs to Amy, Bernadette, and Stuart as he sits in the Pasadena Hospital ER waiting room...

His treatment requiring a little more time than the others...

Beverly's blocking all calls...Especially from us... Stuart notes.

"I'd say Leonard meant a lot more to her than she ever let on…" Bernadette sighs.

"Poor Leonard…" she tears a bit… "He really loved her to be so good to her even after what happened. I almost wish…" she eyes the others.

"Yeah…" Howard nods. "We all do…"

Though I also wish he'd done a faster job on that dissection after we realized how deranged monster Penny was when she drowned that poor little girl...Bernadette thinks...None of this would have happened and Howard and I could be on our own honeymoon by now...

Stuart...? Amy looks at her rather impressive today fiancé ... "Do you think Penny could have survived...Again?"

"I dont know, Amy...But..Well have to see later...Check out the woods when the fire is completely put out and the smoke clears..."

Poor Penny...Poor Leonard… Raj sighs, sobbing...

"He really must've loved her...To help her even when she was like that..."

Yeah...Stuart nods... "And she must've loved him..."

Hmmn…Amy ponders…

It is terrible to think such a star-crossed couple couldn't find solace…

No, not again! Fowlerstein?!

…

Deep in the Pasadena city sewers...Not far from the sewer stream which had run a few yards from the edge of the park near the lower steps from the destroyed events shack...

A sobbing Penny soaks her wounds...Clutching Leonard's shirt still containing some of his ashes...

She smears the ashes over her face and body...Smothering her face in his shirt...

Leonard...Leonard...Leonard...she sobs...

Oh, Leonard…Mine...Gone…Gone…

Gone….


	8. Chapter 8

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Penny story "Groom of Fowlerstein"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part VIII...

A large graveyard in Pasadena...After midnight...

Penny is seen stumbling among the monuments...Pausing to howl at the statues in human form she passes...Still clutching Leonard's shirt...

Finally she smashes into the door of one and crawling inside finds it leads to a network of tunnels connecting many crypts...

Too bad Leonard hadn't known about this place...Much better than paintball place… Big, dark…And best, no living…

Just quiet, loving Dead…She explores, cautiously.

The perfect place to wait…And hope for God to show mercy and take her to Leonard…However long…

And given bitch bestie's handiwork, could be very long…

Well…No more will I truck with living…Bastards.

Just keep clear of Penny if you know what good for you…She growls at the living world.

For, from now on…It is war between us.

She spies a flash from an electric lantern and hears low murmuring sounds of several...Humans...she senses...

Hiding herself in a dark corner, she waits...Listening...Adults she notes...

There's only two possible reasons for humans who are over eighteen to be in a crypt after midnight...

Searching for missing kids...And Penny has no great interest in saving any humans right now, thank you...

Or...Grave-robbing...

"Carefully..." Praetorius eyes Kripke and Raj...As they fumble with the lock on a crypt vault...

This should be the one...Fresh laid today...

"Read the inscription..." he eyes Kripke...

"Mwartin Erwnest...Bweloved son of ..."

Marty Ern...? I knew him...Penny thinks...We went to high school together...He was a sophomore when I graduated...Poor kid...

"Never mind about that..." Praetorius glares... "How old was he...?"

"Age 19 ywears, six months..." Kripke reads...

"This is the one...Open it..." Praetorius nods...

Kripke eyes Raj...Who looks back...

"Mercy on us..." Raj quakes...

God...Haven't we seen enough of all this what with Penny and all...? he thinks...

I try to get out and they keep pulling me back in…

But Kripke and this Praetorius dude have the goods on me…

"Do you two want me to expose your little 'transplant organ' business...?" Praetorius snarls...

No...Kripke sighs...

"Well...Are you ready...?"

Yes...they glumly nod and set to work prying open the coffin...It pops open...

Hmmn...

(Phew, nothing…Sheldon sighs. Thought for a moment Raj and Howard might try…

Arggh! He eyes the body under the raised sheet.

Great, a manikin. "Very fun, gentlemen. Very funny…")

"Prwetty little fwellow..In his way...Wasn't he?..." Kripke notes...

"I only hope his bones are firm..." Sheldon eyes him...

"All right...You can put it back there..." Praetorius tells them...Packing the last of his surgical implements...

"It sweems lwighter now..." Kripke notes as he and Raj return the coffin to its resting place...

Yes...Sheldon chuckles...

"Can we go home now?" Raj sighs...

Yes...I shan't need you again tonight...Praetorius nods, paying them off...

"I think I'll stay a bit though...I rather like this place..." he smiles."Be quiet leaving..."

Yes, yes...Kripke replies.

"And leave me that lantern..."

(Whatever you do, leave me the lantern…)

"All right, all right..." Kripke sighs as they head out...

He and Raj pause just outside...

"Whatdaya say Spwarky?...If there's much more like this we turn owurselves in?"

That goes for me...Raj nods...

"This is no lwife for nwerd lab assistants/swtepfootmen/owrgan stwealers..." Kripke sighs as they head off...

Sheldon sits by the coffin...A considerable picnic meal spread out...Drinking a toast to the skull of the poor boy whose body he's just removed various skeletal and tissue odds and ends from...

"I give you...The monster!..." he cackles...Leering at the skull...

Penny steps forward out of the shadows...Guy's a weird old bird but must be used to the dead and hideous...And she hasn't eaten all day since leaving Leonard's...His shirt still clutched in her hands...

She coughs politely...

"Oh..." Sheldon eyes her coolly... "I thought I was alone..."

("Well done, Moonpie…" Amy beams. "Why didn't you show me what she was going to look like…?" he gulped. "I nearly fainted." "But you didn't…" True enough, I suppose. He thought.)

"Friend...?" she gently waves her hands...Pleading...

"Why, yes...I certainly hope so..." he notes.

Please...Do come in...he waves her in...

"Drink...Good...?" she waves at his bottle of wine...

"Please...Do have a glass of wine...It is my only weakness..." Praetorius smiles...Pouring her a glass.

Good...good...she notes...Slobbering the drink down.

Hell, she's only six days old...And half-dead from thirst to boot...

Watch the alcohol, Penelope...she notes to herself...Remember what Leonard said...And this guy looks weird enough to even try something with you...

She eyes the spread of baked chicken, bread...

Good...she points...

"If I may...?" her decorum kicking in...

"By all means..." Sheldon smiles...

Remarkable job by that Fowlerstein, he thinks...And with my new cloning technique to make the brain...

She falls on the chicken, tearing it apart...

She eyes Praetorius shrewdly...Pointing at the skull...

"You...Make...Woman...? Like...Me?..."

No...he shakes his head..."Man..."

"Friend for you..."

Whoa...she stares at him...

"Yes...I want...Well, no..." she sighs...

Clutching the shirt...

"Want Leonard...No one else..." she eyes him...

Ah...And who pray...? Praetorius stares at her...

"Leonard...Hofstadter..."

"Husband..."

Well, spiritually…

"Dead..." she sighs...

Not his fault...Good man...she notes...

"Dead...Gone..." she sighs

His...? Sheldon notes the burned shirt...

Yeah...They did...

"Friends..." she grumbles...

Let me tell ya about..."friends.." she thinks...

"Your mate…And dead now...?" Sheldon nods...

"Leonard Hofstadter, the experimental physicist?...You were close to him, eh...Ms. Penelope?..."

She beams...About time someone called her Ms. again...But...

"Hofstadter…Mrs...Penelope..." she corrects...

"Will good...Husband...In...Spirit." she ponders...

Ah...Praetorius nods.

"He remained true to you even after your…change?"

Sharp as a tack, doc...she thinks, nodding...

"I forgot...Him...Remember things too late..." she hangs her head, sadly...

"No help...No save...Lose him...Again...We always bad timing."

"That is sad...Very sad..." Praetorius nods...

"But...Perhaps...I could still help you..."

"Have you any knowledge of cloning, my dear...?"

Yeah...she eyes him...

"Read about...College..."

Not an idiot...Just trouble talk...she notes...

"Well...My little specialty...In this project...Is cloning..." Sheldon smiles...

"And I was planning to clone a new brain for our creature..."

He eyes Leonard's shirt...Penny likewise…

Hmmn?

Clone...Brain...? she eyes him...And looks down at the shirt...

But...Soul...?

Want Leonard's soul...she notes...

"Well, my partner may be able to assure that we obtain his soul..." Sheldon notes...

"Do you know who Amy Fowlerstein is...? And who you are?..."

"Yes..." she growls, looking away...

"I know..."

"Amy..." she spits the name out... "Made me from dead..."

I love dead...she hugs the shirt...

"Hate living..."

And am out of the service industry period...she notes...

"Well..." Sheldon sneers...

"You're wise in your generation..."

And your career move...he notes...

"Amy Fowlerstein used a resurrection process to bring your soul into this body..." Sheldon nods at Penny...

"That process could be repeated...For your Leonard..." he leers...

"Using a brain cloned by me...From the material which should still be present on that shirt..." he points...

Whoa...she blinks at him...

Yes...Sheldon nods... "I think you could be very useful...And you will add a little force to the argument if necessary..."

"We must have a long talk together...And then I have an important call to make..." he smiles at her...

"Just...Talk..." Penny eyes him...Firmly...

My dear...I am a physician...And a gentleman...Sheldon notes...

Penny takes the skull...Handling it gently...

"Leonard...Friend...Lover..."

"Husband..." she beams...

Praetorius leers into the dark...Eyes glowing...

I think she's got it...


	9. Chapter 9

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part IX...

Two days later at the Castle Fowlerstein...After some fruitless searching by the gang for any trace of Penny having survived the city park fire Amy and Stuart have decided to carry on with their plans to leave for the Fowlerstein ancestral home in Maine and be married at last...

Bernadette enters Amy's room where she and Stuart are finishing their packing...

"That Dr. Praetorius is back again..." she frowns...

"See...What did I tell you?" Amy looks at Stuart.

"Send him away...Say we've left..."

I certainly will...Bernadette nods, shutting the bedroom door...The main door...

Praetorius enters via an upper door to a balcony above the enormous bedroom...And descends...

"Ah...Amy..." he smiles.

"Mr. Bloom...I fear I did not properly convey my congratulations on your upcoming marriage when I was last here...Pray accept them now..." he bows.

"Dr. Praetorius..." Stuart frowns sternly... "I want you to know that whatever your business with Amy is...I am not frightened of it...Or of you..." He pauses, looking at Amy anxiously.

"Amy's been very ill and is in no condition to be disturbed or annoyed...We're awaiting our car...And after that...We're leaving."

"I'll be dressing in our bedroom, Amy...I'll call you as soon as the car arrives."

Amy nods and Stuart leaves...Glaring at Sheldon who sneers back.

("That's a good one, Sheldon…" Stuart notes.

Narrow look from Sheldon…

"Time to come out of character, Praety…" Leonard urges.

Sure, character…Grrr…

Their bed room…?)

He rushes over to Amy as Stuart shuts the door and heads for their bedroom room...

"I think you know why I am here, Amy..." he eagerly beams at her.

"My part in our experiment is complete...I have created...By my cloning methods...An artificial human brain...Already living, but dormant."

(Piece of cake, should I ever truly wish to turn my intellect to something as trivial as cloning complex human organs…)

"From the person you recommended, actually." he smiles...

Leonard? Amy eyes him...But...? How the hell?...

"Everything is ready for our supreme collaboration..." Praetorius gleefully notes.

"No...Don't tell me about it...I don't want to hear..." Amy twists in her chair.

"I..I've changed my mind...Sheldon, I won't do it."

Praetorius rises in fury... (Ok, yes…I was still thinking about that bed room thing…A true professional makes use of his emotional state in acting, after all…I should explain that to Penny.)

(Oh, my…Amy stares at Sheldon in cloak, glaring…

Oh…

This just keeps getting better and better…

Woo…

"Amy? Are you all right?" Penny, anxiously.)

"I expected this..." he calms a moment...

"I thought we might need another assistant, Amy" he moves to the outside door...

"Perhaps...She can persuade you." Grim look.

He opens the door to reveal a rather annoyed looking, seven-foot tall, greenish-skinned, scarred, burned...but still blonde...Penny.

(Yikes…Dude…Raj eyes Leonard who beams. Can I do makeup or what?

Of course it may give me nightmares for the next six months, sleeping with her…)

Who enters slowly, glaring at Amy.

"No...!" Amy gasps...Rising up.

Not that...!

(Pretty good, huh? Penny represses grin. "Leonard and I thought for this scene I'd dress the part."

"Sheldon, you ok?" Leonard, a bit concerned.

"Bed…Room…" furious glare…)

"Is that any way to greet an old and dear friend?" Praetorius sneers.

"Who only wishes to ask a simple favor of her old friend...?

"Fowler...Stein..." Penny growls.

Waving her hands in front of her for Amy to sit...

"Sit down..." she croaks.

"Yes..." Praetorius nods at Amy...

"There have been developments since she came to me..."

(As there naturally would be once I took charge…)

"What do you want?..." Amy stares at Penny.

"You...Know..." Penny growls at her...

"This is your doing, Sheldon..." Amy eyes Praetorius...

Yes...he leers...Nodding.

"No...I won't do it..."

"Do it...Must!..." Penny glares...Advancing a bit...

Praetorius waving her back...

"Nothing can make me go on with it..." Amy shakes her head...

Penny glares in fury...Grrr...

"She must go away...I won't even discuss it with her here..." Amy insists...

My "bestie"...Penny thinks in anger...

GRRR...!

"That is enough for now...Go..." Praetorius points to the door...

GRRR...! she glares at Amy...And halts by the door backing away...

"Must...Do it!..." she growls...

"Never...Nothing can make me!..." Amy cries.

GRRRR!...she waves a hand angrily at her...

"Go!..." Praetorius opens the door.

Now...he quietly whispers to her as he closes the door...

…..

Bernadette helping Stuart in the bedroom with the last of the luggage...And summoning servants to carry it down to the now-waiting car…

("Great job in that scene, Sheldon…" Leonard eyes him. "But didn't Penny's makeup get to you at all?"

"What makeup? Now, about this 'bedroom' thing…?")

Stuart puts on his coat...And asks Bernadette to let Amy know the car is here and it's time to gently shove Praetorius out the door...

Bernadette hesitates by the door...

"What's up Bernadette?" Stuart eyes her.

"Oh...I don't like leaving you alone Stuart...Not with that strange "doctor" in the house and all the other goings-on."

Also don't like going out into that big empty castle hallway all alone either, Bernadette thinks...

"Nonsense, Bernie...It's gonna be fine...Just let Amy know I'm ready and the car is here..."

Right...Bernadette sighs...Leaving...

God, when Amy gets back we are giving notice and I'm taking that biotech job whatever Howard says about loyalty to the Fowlerstein family, she thinks...

This part-time servant thing is for the birds...Even if Amy and her parents do let Howard and me stay on the estate rent free...

Penny creeps along in back of the Fowlerstein castle...Looking for just the right...Ah...

She spies Stuart in the bedroom's adjoining dressing room... Fussing a bit and staring in the mirror...

Knew he was the trophy husband type…She frowns.

And slowly twists the handle of the door to the outside...

Geesh...All this castle with these huge rooms...And Amy never invited her and Bernadette for a sleep-over?

Some "best friend"...

She enters quietly...Stuart hearing a noise, calls out... "That you, Amy?..." he looks around to see...

"Hiya..." Penny growls...Nice to see ya again Stuart...

All comes out as Grrr...Grrr...Argh...

She still has to concentrate to get clear words out...Only eight days old, after all...

The usual "AHHHH!"...But Penny's getting used to that by now...

Though she did expect better from Stuart...

She grabs her old friend and drags him off...Making more noise than she needs to...Deliberately...

Bernadette rushes in...And shrieks...AHHHHHHHHHH!...As Stuart is dragged out the door, unconscious now, thanks to some ether provided by Sheldon...

(A note here that unprescribed drugs are in fact not to my liking…Although for the purposes of this tale, I am a medical doctor so…)

Amy and Sheldon hear the shrieks and Amy rushes out into the main hall to find Bernadette screaming in fright...

"Stuart!...Stuart!...The monster!..." Bernadette screams...

Raj and Howard and other servants emerge...

"Penny...!..." Bernadette kindly corrects, eyeing Amy...

"Stuart?..." Amy runs to her...

"Penny?...Alive?!" Howard eyes Bernadette...

"What about Stuart!..." Amy shakes her.

"Gone!...Penny's taken him!...Stuart is gone!..." Bernadette screams...

"This is Praetorius' work..." Amy replies...Shaking her head.

Sheldon having taking advantage of the confusion to slip out of sight for the moment…

"Quick!...Howard, Raj!...Search parties...There's not a moment to lose!..." she cries...

A loud crash startles them all...Praetorius standing in Amy's bedroom doorway...Having smashed a large glass lamp globe.

(Note-I don't as a general rule break expensive furniture, thank you.)

"I charge you..." Praetorius calls sternly to all.. "As you value your friend's life...To do nothing and say nothing of this episode. I swear that Stuart will be returned...Unharmed...If you will leave everything to me..."

He steps over to Amy...

"Nothing..." he leers... "Except what she demands."

(Uh…Amy? Sheldon stares at the fainted Amy…

A strange smile on her face…

"So Evil really is sexy…?" Leonard hisses to Howard as Penny and Bernadette frantically chafe Amy's hands…

"Depends…" Howard notes. "Melodramatic domineering…Somewhat, depending on the mood…Lining people up to be beaten and gassed…Never."

"Amy?" Sheldon, anxiously… "Amy…Amy…"

You don't have to chafe so hard…Amy hisses to Penny. Keeping eyes closed as Sheldon knees by her.)

…..

High in the hills beyond Sunnydale...Penny carries Stuart to a prearranged hiding place, a large cave...

Throwing her down...Stuart now conscious, but bound and gagged...To prevent any spell-casting...Struggles with her ropes...

Penny in no mood to talk over old times with her old friend...Not having known Stuart all that well anyway...And perhaps, feeling some slight guilt...I dona bad thing, Leonard...But all for you...Simply growls at her a bit and stalks over to the cave entrance.

My "friends"...she thinks bitterly...Glaring out over the countryside...

You better just pray Amy cooperates, ole pal...she glares over at Stuart, still struggling...

It coming out as "Grrr...Arghh...Grr"..Penny being in no mood to concentrate on her speech...

…..

Amy enters Sheldon's condo...

Sheldon eyes her...Fortunately she didn't think to bring some "muscle" to intimidate him...Though Kripke might be his assistant, he'd doubtless have turned on him, the little...

"I can find no trace of Stuart...I admit I'm beaten..."

"She is well...And Leonard be returned to you...As soon as our work is complete..."

"Well..." Amy sighs... "I suppose I have no choice...But if you'll promise to bring her back safe...I'll do anything..."

"Are you ready to complete with me this final experiment?..." Sheldon eyes her...

Yes...she sighs...

(Oh, God am I ready to "complete this final experiment…")

Ah...Praetorius beams...


	10. Chapter 10

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part VI...

Part X...

The next day...

A furious Lesley Kripke storms out of the Kripke home as Raj awaits Kripke's emergence...

Starting a "special" job for Baroness "Doc" Fowlerstein...Likely the same "special" type of job that resulted in poor Penny, Raj sighs to himself...And her new partner that fellow Praetorius...Likewise their employer in their "side business..." Though Ms. Fowlerstein was unaware of her lab assistants/family stepfootmen's side careers as organ stealers and rather amateurish magics practioners...

"Trouble...?" Raj innocently asks his partner as Kripke comes out...

I told you, dude...Pushing drugs on her was bad enough… But using that "cerebral depressor" thing of Amy's to get Lesley to marry you was a bum idea...Raj shakes head.

And it was designed for rats, not people. No wonder the control keeps slipping.

Lesley stalks back...

"Hell!...Why should I leave?...You twerp!..." she raises a fist at Kripke...

"You get lost!...And if marriage weren't a sacred institution...And retaining our good family name a vital thing..." she pauses... "I'd have the police on you..."

"For what?...You gonna twell them I used some weird brwain thing on you?..." Kripke sneers.

"No, sir..." she halts, bowing...Still a few latent commands holding...

"I must not."

"Damn you!" she glares waving a fist... "Get out!...Now!"

"And Kripke...?...Don't you give me any trouble about my support payments...! Or I'll go to the police! And seek a divorce, regardless of the scandal!..."

"What is all that about 'sacred institutions'…?" Raj stares. "This is America, land of the quickie divorce…Not to mention, that's the former Lesley Winkle, practitioner of the quickie…"

"Part of the prwogrwamming…Say, Lwesley? How much will you be swending me...?" Kripke smirks...Nudging Raj...

"Whatever you deem fair, sir..." she halts and bows again...

"Damn you!..." she shrieks...

Amy, Praetorius, Raj, and Kripke enter Amy's old lab...On a distant edge of the Fowlerstein estate...Hidden from prying eyes by dirt roads, forests, and hills...The lab itself a grim, bare, forbidding old castle tower, imported by Amy's mom the former Baroness from their ancient home in Europe years ago, like the main castle...

Nostalgia or something, Amy notes in explaining….

Atop it, Amy's masterpiece...The Cosmic Diffuser...A rather phallic-shaped collection of energy receivers leading to a large platform on which the corpse to be reanimated is strapped down...Allowing the energy of lightening and cosmic rays to revivify the corpse even as the soul is sucked into its brain...

"Mind the steps...They're a bit slick I expect..." Amy notes, shining a flashlight on the stairs to the main lab...

"I think it's a charming house..." Sheldon notes as they climb up. "Lichens are always a nice touch…Really cheer the place up."

…..

The new creature is well underway...Sheldon working diligently at the surgery...He and Amy having agreed that given her "problems" with Penny...It might be best to let an trained surgeon handle the body parts stitching this time.

She busy getting the primary organs separately revivified before installation...

"You know Amy..." Sheldon calls from the operating table...

"It is interesting to think that once you and I would have been burned at the stake as witch and warlock for attempting this experiment."

He tosses a used instrument in Kripke's antiseptic bucket as he passes...

"Doctor!..." Amy cries from her bench...With rather considerable enthusiasm, Praetorius happily notes to himself.

"The heart is beating now!"

They listen to its amplified beat over a speaker...

Neat...Raj thinks from his bench...

Sheldon races over...A key stage...

"But the rhythm of the beat is irregular..." Amy shakes her head.

"Increase the saline solution..." she nods to Sheldon who pours more in the heart tank.

"Is there any life yet?..." Praetorius pauses.

No...she sighs..."This is only the simulacrum of life...This action only occurs when the current is applied."

"We must be patient..." Sheldon notes..."The human heart is one of the most complex of organs."

And this one was a little...he sighs...

"It's beating faster now..." Amy eagerly notes...

And she didn't want to be in on this one?...C'mon...Sheldon smiles within.

The heartbeat increases in intensity and speed...Then...Fades...

"It's stopped..." Amy sinks in a chair.

"Shall I increase the saline solution?..." Praetorius eyes her.

Beautiful eyes she has...he thinks...And so attractive when she's all fired up about a project? I find it hard to believe a Stuart Bloom is enough of a challenge for this intellect.

("Amy?" "Sorry…In the zone…")

She certainly hasn't asked about her Stuart in a while...

"No..." Amy glares at the heart tank...Whipping off glasses…

(Flicking hair back…

Whoa…Uh…Why…Amy…)

"This heart is useless...I must have another!"

"And it must be fresh...Sound...And young."

Hmmn...Right…Sheldon nods...

Kripke...he calls...Kripke hustling over...

"You must go to your friend at the 'accident hospital'..." Praetorius eyes him...

"What we need..." Amy looks at Kripke intently... "Is a young victim of sudden death...Can you do it?"

"It doesn't have to be mwale?..." Kripke eyes her...

"Nah...Our special process prevents tissue rejection...I can't say more, patent pending…" she notes..."But hell, if not, the whole thing would be worthless."

And it's not like it's a sex organ here...

"You promised me ten thousand dollars..." Kripke notes, eagerly.

"It will be worth it..." Sheldon sneers... "And Baroness Fowlerstein will pay."

"Yes, yes...Go and get it..." Amy hastily nods...

"I'll...Twry..." Kripke leers...Scurrying out the lab door...

Geesh...Raj frowns...I know that look...Just like when he dug poor Penny's body up to get her brain, and dropped it...Then said it all went just fine...

"There are always accidental deaths occurring...Right, Sheldon?..." Amy eyes Praetorius...Nervously rubbing her hands together.

"Always..." Sheldon sneers... Returning to his work on the corpse...

Oh...C'mon Amy...Raj thinks, shaking his head.

Still she's the boss...

So...Female's ok...Kripke thinks happily as he leaves.

And I know just the lady to be our donor...


	11. Chapter 11

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part XI...

Later that afternoon...Back in Pasadena...

Kripke seeks his heart donor...But has a perfect candidate in mind...

At the Kripke home he finds the locks changed but no problemo for a skilled grave-robber cum nerd magics practitioner/lab assistant cum stepfootman...

"Hey, babe..." he calls upstairs from the hallway...

"Daddy's hwome...!"

"Kripke!...Damn you!..." Lesley calls down...Rushing to the stairs...

"I told you to get..."

He fires up the cerebral depressor...Good for one more heavy jolt, at least...

As he thought...Poor kid still hadn't caught off...Part his mental block placed via the depressor, part her own trusting or utterly arrogant nature.

Sentimentalist that he was, he'd go for "trusting"…

"I love you, sir...Welcome home..." she obediently bows.

"You, too, baby...Would you like to do me and a frwiend a fwavor?...And make a major contrwibution to Science...?" he grins...

"I mean, a rweal one, not your fwormer cwareer…"

She nods.

"Well...How's about you go take a little walk in the strweet?...With your eyes clwosed, please...Once you get into the miwddle of trwaffic?" he leers.

"Yes, Bwarry...Uh, Barry." she eagerly nods...And heads out.

Hey...He wasn't about to do it himself...To his own wife?...That'd be sick.

Just...Taking advantage of an opportunity...

….

The new heart is an immediate hit...Lesley's amplified beat filling the lab...

"It's beating perfectly..." Amy beams.

Oh if only I can keep it going...

"It was a very...Frwesh one..." Kripke happily calls.

Sheldon drops his scalpel...Damn!...Moron...he thinks.

Jesus...Raj sighs from his workbench...I can just guess...

"Where did you get it?" Amy glares.

"I gave the EMT a thousand bucks..." Kripke hastily notes.

"What EMT?..." Amy scowls at him, anxiously staring at the heart in its tank...

"It was...A..." he eyes Praetorius.

Police case...Sheldon mouths...

"Police case..." Kripke finishes.

Amy eyes him…

Sheldon rushes over...

"Yes, yes...Very sad...Only we can't bother about that now...Can I do anything?"

Anything?...he thinks, eyeing her. Such beautiful eyes...

"No, no, no..." Amy turns back to the heart, applying more current...

"I can work better alone..." she nervously stares at the heart, rubbing her exhausted face.

Sheldon turns back to his work...And gives Kripke orders to head out to Stuart's holding place.

Time to give Amy some incentive for her work...Poor girl's just about ready to drop from exhaustion...

Just as Penny appears at the lab doorway...And fiercely glares at the departing Kripke.

"Hey...Thwere...Penny…Lookin' good, thwere." Kripke nervously smiles...

"Bastard..." she eyes one of her burned arms...She remembers Amy's fiendish lab assistant. The one who delighted in torturing her those first coupla days when she was locked in Amy's dungeon.

He gulps...But hey, he hastily notes...As she stares at him.

"All on the same tweam, eh, sweetheart?...Workin' for the same final gwoal, rwight?..." he points down into the lab.

She growls at him...

"Hey...Sheldon?...You got a visitor?" he calls nervously.

Gotta go...Keep an eye on little Amy's boy, ya know?...he smiles at Penny...Who just glares but lets him go by.

Deal later...she thinks...Glaring after him...

She rushes down the stairs...To see Amy asleep at her bench.

Hurrying over she shakes her awake...Violently...

"Work..!" she points at the bench.

"Where's Stuart...Have you brought him?" Amy asks her anxiously.

What...Not even a "hi, Penny...How ya doin'..."? Some "best friend"...Penny thinks angrily.

"I wait...She wait..." Penny glares at her.

"I can't go on like this...I'm exhausted!...I must get sleep!" Amy cries...Sheldon hastening over...

"Work!...Finish!...Then, sleep!..." Penny growls.

Penny's still queen of this operation, bitch...For all your family's cash...Penny thinks.

She nervously stares around the lab...Rather interested in the work's progress...Raj waves from his bench...Hey, Buf...Things are going pretty well...he calls...

She hovers over Amy, glaring...Also knocking over test tubes, sticking her finger in the heart saline solution, and generally becoming a nuisance...Only eight days old, after all...And with probable brain-damage thanks to Kripke's brain-manhandling and Amy's overuse of lightning...

"I can't work like this!...She must go away!..." Amy twists anxiously in her chair...

Just tryin' to help...Penny thinks, hurt...Geesh...Some "best friend" I got.

"I'll settle her for a little while..." Praetorius glares at Penny...

And fetches a bottle of brandy...His only weakness...and a glass...

"Drink..." he intones to her, smiling…

Good...

Penny eyes him and the glass...Hasn't had anything all day.

Still, water would preferable...Hate to have Dad see her hitting the sauce as much as she has been these past few days with Sheldon...Though really only a couple of glass of wine...she notes.

And she is pretty thirsty...

Well...Ok...

"Drink...?" she reaches for the glass...He pulls it away and reaches for something on the bench...A powerful narcotic...Pouring it into the glass...

Good...he leers, handing it to her...

She gulps it down...Hmmn...

Funny...I...Whoa...she stumbles...Groping a bit...

God, Mommy always told me not to take drinks from guys I barely knew...she thinks as she collapses...On to a bench...

Sheldon, sneering, throws a coat over her... "That'll keep you quiet."

(Note: I don't give drinks spiked or otherwise to women…Even if big enough to hurt me. Thank you.)

"Stuart..." Amy looks at Sheldon...And the unconscious Penny...

"He's dead..." she gasps.

"Stuart is alive and he is well..."

"I don't believe you..." Amy shakes her head...

Penny doesn't seem that good a caregiver right now...

"I have proof..." Sheldon solemnly notes.

Proof...? Amy eyes him anxiously...

"In a few moments...He will speak to you via this electrical machine...A wireless telephone." Sheldon notes...Holding up a cell phone...

The phone buzzes...

"Speak..." Sheldon hands Amy the phone.

"And he will hear you and answer you..."

"Stuart!..." Amy gasps...Hearing his voice...

"Are you alright?!"

In the cavern where he is being held Stuart struggles to speak into the phone as a newly arrived Kripke holds the phone to him...Watching nervously for any signs of escape attempted...

"Oh, Amy!...Yes I'm alright!...But Amy, darling!...I'm..." Kripke covers his mouth and turns the phone off...

Ummn...Just for your protection, pal...he notes to Stuart...

"Penny'd kill us all if this project gets screwed...Or I let you go...You understand, rwight buddy?" he nods to Stuart, reapplying the gag.

Hell...He may still want that stepfootman/lab assistant's job after this is over...Not a bad idea to cover his ass.

Twerp...You are so fired...Stuart thinks...Eyeing him.

Told Amy to can him after the way he handled Penny's care those first few days...And I just know he screwed up when he got her brain out for us.

Amy releases the phone...

"He's gone..."

"But...You heard him..." Sheldon notes.

"Yes...He's alive..." Amy sighs.

"And will be returned to you...Unharmed...When this experiment is complete..."

Amy nods, turning back to monitoring poor Lesley's heart.

Kripke returns about half an hour later...

"I wouldn't sit there..." Raj calls...Kripke looking down to see an unconscious seven-foot tall Penny lying spread-eagled out on the bench he's about to lie down on.

Oops...

Sheldon glares at him...No time for napping anyway...And sends him and Raj to the top of the tower to begin preparations to utilize the electrical storm predicted for tonight...

He and Amy are now engaged in checking the storm's likely intensity...Listening over headphones…

"It's going to be a terrific storm..." Amy grins happily, removing her headphones...

"We shall be ready..."she smiles at Praetorius.

He does have something about him...she can't help noting to herself.

And he is one hell of a truly dedicated scientist...

"How is the heart?" Sheldon asks anxiously, listening to the amplified beat.

"It's been beating for almost nine hours..." Amy notes eagerly...As they rush over to the tank…

"Not yet...But soon..." she beams at the tank, eyes gleaming.

And she said she was out of this line...Sheldon grins happily at her.

Are those the eager eyes of someone who's "had enough of this hell-spawn"...? I think not...

"What about the brain?" he asks...Clearly fishing for a complement...

"Perfect..." Amy eagerly notes... "And already in position..."

"Shall we put the heart in now?" she beams at Praetorius...

Yes...he hisses back, equally excited...

They wheel the heart tank over to the corpse and lift the heart carefully out...

"It's beating quite regularly now..." Amy happily notes to Sheldon.

God...Kripke, eyeing them, sneers to Raj as they begin putting on their raincoats to go up top...

Why don't they just get a rwoom?...

"You know, Spwarky..." he leers at Raj as they climb up to the tower roof platform...

"I always fwigured ole Amy had the hotties for the dead frweak chick...And that Sheldon is prweety gay himself if you ask me...Maybe two oppwosing gays cancel each other out..." he smirks.

Shut up...Raj shoves him along...

The storm is building now...Fierce wind and rain beginning...Some early lightening flashes...


	12. Chapter 12

"The Groom of Fowlerstein…"

Summary: A shameless Halloween ripoff not only of "Bride of you know who" but of my Buffy story "Groom of Rosenberg"…But hey, something for Sheldon's Halloween.

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Amy has resurrected her bestie the hard way...The really hard way...

Part XII...Conclusion...

An annoyed but resigned Bernadette helps a still-slightly wobbly from smoke inhalation Howard as they conduct yet another search of the estate grounds for Stuart...

And now for Amy as well...She having disappeared, according to other estate people, with Praetorius, the other day...

Why we should be doing this and not the police?…She frowned.

Loyalty being all very well, but Howard carries it a bit too far. Still, I know why he's afraid of going to the cops…I doubt they'd find Amy and that weird psycho engaged in anything easily explained.

Especially to that poor nice Stuart…

Though with Raj and Kripke "on a spwecial job for the Barwoness" according to Kripke's sneering remark to an estate guard, one can imagine the cops would find whatever they were doing of considerable interest…

"It's getting dark.."Howard notes...

And a storm is coming on...Bernadette sees. Lovely…

"I think we'd best give it up for the evening...And hope that Amy knows what she's doing..." he sighs to her.

Knows what she's doing?...The woman who stuffed Penny's brain into a body of dead rotting parts and fried her with lightning?...Bernadette thinks, glaring.

Say...? she points at the old tower, far off in the distance. Barely visible in the dark and storm but with the Cosmic Diffuser now raised for testing, gleaming in the reflected occasional lightning bolt.

"What the hell's that?"

The old tower Amy's dad brought over years ago from Europe...Howard notes.

"I think they use it for storage and such. It's mainly ornamental...To make the estate look more European."

"Hmmn…We oughta check it out...It's the largest other building besides the castle on the whole place." he notes.

No real roads to it...And it's several miles from the estate road...Bernadette points out...

"Maybe tomorrow...?" she suggests.

The lightning flashes again...Hmmn...Howard thinks.

"Didn't Amy use lightning to get Penny up and going again?" he looks at Bernadette...

Lightning and cosmic rays...Bernadette corrects.

"She never did tell us where on the estate the other lab was...Where she got Penny up and running, away even from us, she muses.

"Lets go!..." Howard insists.

But what would that matter? Bernadette points out.

Amy wouldn't be frying Penny again...Why would she need another lightning storm?

"Unless...?"

They stare at each other...

"You said it sounded like that Sheldon was pushing her about more 'work'…" Howard eyed Bernadette…Who frowned, looking at the louring sky and random flashes.

Great…A rain-soaked slog across the fields to find Amy either once again engaged in unholy research with Praetorius…Or something equally unsavory with him…

Either way, poor Stuart.

("Stuart?" Amy, anxiously…

"I'm…Fine…" sigh.

"Yes…Poor Stuart…" Sheldon, contentedly.

Sorry but where I come from, in love there are winners, from Texas…And losers, from everywhere else.)

….

Amy and Sheldon stand by the new creature, wrapped in bandages, stretched out on the operating table slab...

"Isn't it amazing, Amy?" Sheldon beams. Still fishing for compliments about his wonderful cloned brain...

"Lying within this skull..." he pats the bandages. "Is an artificially developed human brain...Cloned from charred remains no less. Each synapse, each convolution, ready...Waiting, for life to come."

Touch of the poet in him...Amy can't help noting to herself...Leonard would be pleased to be know his brain was cloned by a poetic type.

(Of course any brain of Leonard's cloned by me would be sure to be a distinct… "Whatcha writin' that my boyfriend is never gonna have to see cause you're gonna tear it up, Sheldon?")

"Say...?" Amy pauses...Listening to the speakers.

What's that music?

"The creation scene from the 'Bride of Frankenstein'..." Sheldon notes.

I thought it most appropriate...he smiles.

They hear a loud thunderbolt crash...

"The storm is coming up over the mountains..." Praetorius looks at Amy.

"It will be here soon..."

"You're on Fowlerstein." he smiles at her...She giving sheepish beam…Sheldon.

Nice to have an audience for this one…

Amy flips up giant electrodes around the creature's head. Sheldon helping her pull a large spark generator over. They switch it on and a large electrical discharge begins coursing across its surface. Lighting the room with an eerie glow…

Amy rushes over to where the implements for the soul retrieval lay. Next to getting the body in working order, and the brain cloned, the key part of the whole project...

"Kripke!...Raj!..." she cries up to them above.

"Get the kites ready!"

"The kites!...the kites!...Get 'em rweady!" Kripke hollers to Raj over the storm on the tower rooftop...

"Open the roof!" Amy calls. They work a crank to open the large tower roof to the skies.

"Lower the Cosmic Diffuser..." They work winches to send the huge assembly down.

"Wires...Send down your wires!" she calls. They drop large cables which she and Praetorius secure to the electrodes about the new creature.

"All right..." she cries.

"I'm coming up…!"

I could just kiss her now, on the lips like mommies and daddies...Praetorius thinks...She's so beautiful when she's creating life from the dead.

Well, perhaps later...

"Stand-by the main generators, Sheldon!" she points over. He rushes to the bank of generators...

("Am I wrong or does Sheldon actually seem to be enjoying having Amy order him around?" Penny hisses to Leonard, currently being wrapped for his big scene.)

She hurries up the stairs to the tower...

Eyeing Raj and Kripke...Ready guys?...

So excited she didn't even put on a raincoat, Raj notes.

"Rwaj, you take number two!" Kripke cries over the storm.

"Have you checked your connections?..." Amy calls to Kripke...

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?..."

Hell, lady we helped you get the first one going...We know what we're doing...Kripke thinks, a bit miffed.

"Yeah, yeah!"

"Ok...Release number one..." Amy orders.

The first of two huge metal kites soars into the rising storm...

"Number two!..." she cries to Raj.

And the second...

Neat...thinks Raj as he eyes the huge kites...Really quite beautiful design...Amy's an artist at heart, I'd say.

But then no reason we can't do this with a little style...

She begins the first part of the soul retrieval process...Kripke and Raj watching attentively.

"Look!..." Bernadette points up at the huge kites soaring into the night sky...

Whoa...Howard eyes them.

Don't think Amy would be playing with giant kites in this weather without a damn good reason...

"Come on!..." he insists as they track their way through a road now of near impenetrable mud...

Miles yet to the tower...

God...The things I do in my dual career as part-time servant and grad student...Bernadette sighs.

Of course there's always my future career...And my Howard...To make life worth living…she reflects.

Gosh...Maybe I have been a leetle hard on Penny this week...she thinks sadly. She has no one now...

Plus major deformities and brain-damage...

Though...She probably does appreciate the new height…As if she needed it…

Lord, resurrection and extra inches…Some people have all the luck.

But I guess I'm lucky too…Beam at Howard. "What?" he grins back.

….

Amy descends the tower...Joining Sheldon back in the main lab...

She continues monitoring the corpse in bandages on the slab as Sheldon works the electrical part of the process...

Slamming a series of circuit breakers, throwing switches. Huge bolts of current flashing around the room as Amy's manipulations cause a blue glow to appear around the bandages of the creature's new brain.

She halts and joins Sheldon for more switch-throwing...

"We're sending it up!" she calls up to Kripke and Raj...

The great machine lifts to the tower rooftop. The new, completely bandage-wrapped, body on its slab. Lightning starting to strike the huge kites, and now the main diffuser itself at its tip...

Neither the preoccupied Amy or Sheldon see Penny awaken and rush up the stairs to the roof, seeing her honey rising up on his slab...

Can't let those two bozo lab assistants screw this up now...she thinks, hurrying up.

By the way, Sheldon...Me little bit pissed at the drugging...She glares down at the busy Praetorius as she reaches the roof door.

Still...He does seem hard at it. We talk about it later.

She emerges on the roof platform. Rain's nearly stopped but lightning and thunder and wind are worse than ever. Staring at the slab where...Leonard?...Now lays...Lightning smashing at the tip of the Diffuser above...Oh...

God...How I hate lightning...she thinks.

Kripke comes over...

Damn...What a time for Penny the brain-dead frweak to make an appearance.

"Go back!" he cries.

She glares at her former tormentor and all-around jerk.

Grrr...!...She's in no mood to concentrate on speaking clearly.

"Go Back!" he pulls a flaming torch from its socket. Waving it at her...

Kripke...Geesh...Raj shakes his head from the other side of the roof platform, cut off now by the open space in the roof where the Cosmic Diffuser has emerged.

You know how she hates fire, man. God, she nearly killed you over it that last time in her dungeon cell.

She rushes him, grabs the torch and whacks him with it...

How do you like it, schmuck! She glares at him as he falls to the ground, howling in pain...

Hey, Raj...she waves a bit.

"How it going?" she tries to call...

He guesses her question and gives a wan thumbs-up. Looking over at Kripke now crawling desperately away…

She contemptuously looks back...Ah, he ok...Just got leetle of what he been dishin' out...she thinks.

Bwitch...Kripke groans...Looking for his pistol...Ah…He pulls himself up for a shot.

"Eat Wlead, you frweak!"

Waving to Penny, Raj points... "Behind you!" To Penny who whirls back and hurls Kripke back...

He falls against the cable to kite number one...Just as a lightning bolt destroys the kite...

"ARGGGGGHHH!"

Eehew...Penny and Raj look at the burning remains.

She shrugs at him...Sorry...

"Eh...He had it coming!" Raj hollers back.

They stare at the Diffuser as the second kite is destroyed and the main assembly crackles with energy.

Beautiful, eh...? Raj calls over...Pointing to the Diffuser.

Yeah...she nods...

Oh, Leonard...My sweet Leonard...Please God...she nervously prays.

I sure deserve break for this week...

Say...she calls...As the storm lulls a bit.

"What that music?" Hearing Sheldon's recording playing from below...

"'Bride of Frankenstein', 'Creation', I think..." Raj calls back.

Nice...she beams..

"Very a...pro...pro..priate..." she manages, rather pleased with herself.

Been doing better every day…Leonard will be so proud.

Just gotta have talk with Sheldon regarding week I spend at his place.

Nothing ashamed about, but no need Leonard be concerned about…

He forget my drinking a bit much…And that one kiss…Only to celebrate successful brain cloning. Really just for Leonard…And I forget drugging…

Maybe…

Though a certain fiancée might like know what Sheldon and his girl have been up to, should Praety get talky…

"I think he's done!" Raj calls to her...We oughta go down.

Ok...she nods...Wait a minute...she eyes him...

"Done?"...

Hey...Penny glowers. That better be Kripke's burning flesh I smell...she thinks.

"Lower it!..." Amy calls to Sheldon in the lab below...

The great machine lowers to the lab floor...

Amy and Praetorius rush over...Hesitant…

A low moan is heard. Praetorius eyes Amy in exultation...What a fellow scientist!...What a woman!

Pity about the fiancé thing...

But I've been getting the happy feeling…That's becoming…Negotiable.

Knew getting her involved in my cloning business would do the trick…

Yes…Love, like Science…Indeed has her little surprises…

The left hand of the creature moves...

Sheldon rips a bandage from the face...Exposing two open eyes...Blinking eyes.

"He's alive!...Alive!..." Amy cries...

"Oh.." A gasping..."What the hell! Amy? Is that you?" ...they hear from within the bandages.

And we've got our target soul, I'd say...she beams at Sheldon...

("Yeah, great…Could we hurry it up with the bandages, I'm suffocating in here…" Leonard calls. "Guys?!" As Amy and Sheldon regard each other…

"Sheldon…I love you so much…" Amy leaning over the prone Leonard…

Oh my God… Penny grabs at Bernadette. Yes, yes…!

"Yay!" she and Bernadette clapping as Sheldon kisses Amy…Mommie and Daddie style…

"Hey…A little help here?!" Leonard, muffled call.)

They hastily crank the slab upright and begin unbinding the straps...

The bandaged creature raises its arms...And staggers, collapsing...

Amy and Praetorius stare at each other in gleeful triumph...And begin unpinning and unraveling the bandages.

"Raj" Penny happily nods at Raj...As they walk down the stairs to the main lab together...

Now I remember...Raj...she thinks...

"You nice...Raj…Esh." she notes...Smiling at him.

You no hurt...I no hurt...she pats him.

Like others...she grumbles...

"Anyway...Leonard and I go now..." she nods.

No one more hurt...

"Well...Penny..." Raj sighs, eyeing her...All seven feet of her.

"I hope it works out for you...But you can't get your hopes up too high...This kinda thing is preety experimental."

She eyes him...

Well...he looks away. "Just don't want you to be hurt...That's all..."

"You nice...Raj...Kinda responsible too..." Hmmn...

"You date any?...Me cousin in Omaha need nice guy..." she notes...

"Better off with nice slight older guy."

Really?...Raj thinks.

Well, could be this project may work out well for me, too.

Assuming she doesn't kill us all should Leonard still be a mass of rotting body parts…

"After she eighteen, course..." Penny glares.

Course...Raj nods.

Leonard stands almost unwrapped in hospital gown...Somewhat taller than before but otherwise pretty much the same but for a few scars, thanks to Sheldon's skillful surgical technique...Perhaps a bit perturbed by his experience and by finding himself naked but for a hospital johnny, he is silent now.

"The Groom of Fowlerstein!..." Praetorius beams...As he and Amy stand observing him...

See what a difference a good surgeon's experience can make?...Sheldon notes to a sheepish Amy...Who has to admit.

But a great job with the soul restoration and the revivifying...Sheldon hastily adds, gallantly.

Gotta admit...Amy thinks, beaming back at the exultant Praetorius...

Earth did move for me, Sheldon...

Leonard blinks at them...Twisting around like a chicken with its head cut off or a nervous cat...Rather clueless as yet except for that brief episode at his birth.

Hope that brain of yours is all it's cracked up to be. Amy hisses to Sheldon...Eyeing the now-rushing descending Penny.

Or we are in deep do-do...

Penny hastens over...And stops as Leonard stares at her. Clearly rather...Startled...

"Friend...Leonard...Husband...?" she pleads...Waving her hands gently.

Shock...It could just be shock...I needed some time after my rebirth, she thinks...Hopefully...

Gack...!...Leonard lets out a cry at her...And backs away...Toward...Amy...

Hmmn...Penny glowers at her "best friend"...I always thought she had a thing for him...she thinks.

Ever since that night at the wedding... "Oh, I don't think Amy and Stuart are as good as they could be" he says… "I don't know if Amy is really happy...She seemed so sad and sweet tonight, I think she's still uncertain..." Yeah...

"Uncertain…" and shoppin' in my aisle…

Amy leads the frightened Leonard to a bench and sits him down...

"Back..." Sheldon waves an arm at Penny.

Grrr...I'm not too pleased with you right now, friend...she glares at him...After that little drugging episode.

She pushes him back...And rushes over to the bench where Leonard is sitting...Taking a seat beside him...

She takes his arm...He stares at her without recognition...She pats his hand...

Amy and Praetorius look at each other...

Cross your fingers...Amy thinks...

"Ahhh!..." he gasps...

"Honey?...Lover?...Friend?...Leonard?..." she tries again...Moving to embrace him...

Geesh, I'm finally ready to make a commitment here, Leonard…Come on…

He lets out a clear scream and dashes off the bench...Running to Amy...

Penny stands in raging fury...Morons!...Screwed it again!

"He dumping me...Like others..." she rages...Eyeing Amy narrowly...

And for my best friend...My best...Tramp of...a friend...

Shit!...And I made a commitment…The real deal…Oh…

Grrr…She eyes the two scientists…

You…You did this! You and you little cloning/resurrection process…

"Back, back..." Sheldon tries to wave her back...

She growls at them and shoves aside equipment Praetorius moves in her path...

She nears...The lever...

"Look...Doctor!...The lever!..." Amy cries.

"Get away from that lever, you fool!...You'll blow us all to atoms!" Praetorius cries...

Hmmn...Penny eyes...The Lever...

Well...If I've really lost my beloved forever and my love-life is gonna stay firmly in the toilet...

Lets see who's the "fool" Dr. Praetorious…The suffering tormented "monster" victim who takes her tormentors with her…Or the idiot mad scientist who put a self-destruct switch right in his living room in easy reach of a suicidally depressed patient.

Cries are heard at the lab ground door...Stuart, Howard, and Bernadette...

Stuart having freed himself and joined the others on their slog to the lab tower...

"Amy!...Amy, darling...Come on..." Stuart cries...

Amy rushes to the lab door...

"Go, Stuart...I can't leave them now...I can't!..." she cries...

"Come on...Amy!..." Stuart cries...

I really can't...she explains...Raj over there has the only door key...

"Penny...!" Bernadette comes over...

"Don't do it, Penny!"

"Go way!..." Penny cries...Sadly eyeing the bewildered, blinking Leonard...Now shaking his head as if to clear it...

"Raj...!" Penny calls...

"Go!...You nice...You, live..." she points to a side door...

"And be nice to my cousin...And tell Daddy I loved him…And say give you her number."

"How's about me...?...Bestie?" Amy calls "Your best friend...With so much to live for?..."

"Witch bitch and mad doctor boyfriend stay..." Penny glares.

Boyfriend?...Stuart blinks at Praetorius standing by Amy near the main door as Raj heads to his side door...Why that little...

Raj sighs and pauses...I suppose I should try...

We four belong...Penny reaches for the Lever...

Head for the hills!...Howard cries...Grabbing Bernadette and pulling at Stuart, racing back from the tower...

"Penny?...!...Hey! Wait a mo!..." Leonard cries...

"Leonard?...You know me?...Penny?..." she eyes him...

He hesitates...

"Don't touch the lever, Penny!..." Amy cries...

"Why not?..." she calls...

"Even...My own Leonard...Dumps me...God..."

I mean...I was afraid that electroshock might screw up his memory...But geesh...He knows me...Look at him...And...he...

She burst into tears... "Don't...Want..." She reached for...The Lever...

"Me..."

"I wasn't dumping, you Penny!...For God's sake I was just resurrected in a reaminated corpse..." Leonard calls.

"However, if you'd allow me a decent night's sleep..." he pauses...

"And finish taking off these damn bandages and get me something to wear..."

"Really, Leonard?..." Penny beams...Backing off from...The lever...

"Of course…You know I love you..."

Phew...Amy eyes Praetorius...Who shakes his head...

This is absolutely the last time I get involved in this sort of thing...Raj thinks, watching...

"I do look all right, right?..." Leonard eyes Penny...

"Beautiful as ever..." she smiles...

"And...Taller than Sheldon..." she grins.

(That's just the lifts in his big shoes…and the big shoes…)

Oh...Leonard...she beams, waving her arms...Striking...The Lever...

Oh...Shit...she looks up at it.

Sorry...Sheepish glance to the horrified group…

Huge explosions rack the tower...Howard, Stuart, and Bernadette watch in horror as it crumbles...The Cosmic Diffuser back at its roof falling over into the valley below...

They stagger back, rubble all around them...Covered in dust and soot...

"Oh God...Amy, Penny!..." Howard sigh...

"Amy!..." Even if you are a cheatin' insane tramp...Stuart cries...

"Raj!..." Bernadette cries...Howard eyeing her...

Sorry...Don't mean anything by that.

Besides he was a nice guy to stay with them...Somebody should feel bad, she notes...

("You know I care, Sheldon…" Amy notes to his hurt look.)

Uhhh...A low moan is heard from the rubble...

Raj pulls himself out of some wreckage with Howard's help...

Hey...He feebly waves...

Whoa...I survived that?...he looks back at the tower...

Hey...Another feeble cry...

"Amy?" Stuart calls...

Oh...

Amy is dug out, rather battered but nothing too serious...Stuart hugs her, causing far more pain...

"Pardon me...?" a faint cry...

Dr. Praetorius emerges, stumbling a bit...Well-protected actually by some fallen beams...

As he points out, it was a well-built tower...And, he sighs sadly...Truly a charming house...

Bernadette looks at Raj and the others...Penny?...Oh...

They look amongst the rubble...No trace...

"Sad...Very sad..." Sheldon notes...

Especially after seeing Amy hugging Stuart...

But...As Howard echoes...Perhaps for the best...

Their souls are sure to be together in Eternity...Sheldon assures Bernadette kindly...

Keep that creep away from me...Bernadette hisses to Howard...

They walk off...Around some trees...Howard watching carefully beside Bernadette...

"Ah...Well, Amy..." Sheldon eyes her...

"At least we certainly did it..."

And I can expect to make a fortune from my cloned organs now that they've had the...As it were...Ultimate test...

And a new University chair is sure to be mine, now...

"Any chance you might like to continue our partnership?..." he leers at her...

Well...Amy beams...

We did do quite a job together back there...

Stuart growls...A very resurrected-Penny-ish growl...

"I'll suggest to my financial planner he invest in your company..." Amy backs off...

Later...she hisses when Stuart turns away...

Sheldon leers, and waving, heads off to his car...Four miles off through the rain-soaked mud roads...But hell, he is a multimillionaire as of tonight...Not to mention...Still a chance with the divine Ms. F...

Raj pauses with Howard and Bernadette on the edge of the forest...And signs for her to be quiet, pointing off in the distance...

To where Penny and Leonard can be seen staring back at them at the edge of some forest, hand-in-hand...

Penny puts a finger to her lips...Don't tell...she smiles to Bernadette...Waving gently with Leonard...

Bernadette, nodding back to her, blows a kiss...And she, Howard, and Raj turn back toward the others before the others can see...

"Darling..." Leonard embraces Penny...Darling she repeats...Darling...

"OW!..."

"Sor…ry…"

"Say you know, I'm holding you to that commitment thing…"

"Fair nuff."


End file.
